Becoming friends (uswnt)

Closer Now

Hi everyone. Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Super Slight trigger warning at the end of the chapter. Not trying to spoil anything just a heads up. Thank you

Peyton's pov

I woke up the next morning clinging onto Jane and her having her arms wrapped tightly around me. I think she noticed I was awake because she tightened her grip around me. I snuggled my head deeper into her neck; I finally felt safe.

There was a knock on the door and my breathing became ragged and heavy. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and gripped onto Jane tighter than before.

Immediately she responded to that by rubbing my back and trying to calm me down. "Hey it's okay. I can promise you that it's only one of the girls. You're okay. I have you. No one here is going to let anything happen to you ever again. Okay?" I just nodded my head.

She sat up a little on the bed and was about to get up, but I held onto her; keeping her from leaving. "Please don't leave" I whispered with tears threatening to spill. There was another knock and My breathing started to pick up again.

"Hey. It's me Ash. I was checking to make sure everything is okay. Breakfast will be ready in 10 minuets if you two are hungry." Ashlyn said from behind the door.

I looked at Jane and she nodded.

"You can come in" Jane shouted.

As soon as I saw the door nob turn I hid my face in the back of Jane's neck. I know Ash won't hurt me but I can't help but still feel scared. Right now I only feel safe with Jane. Ash was there at the start but I don't want to be alone with her.

"Hey Peyton" Ash said a little above a whisper. I didn't respond. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just want you to know that if you ever need anyone to talk to or be there, then I'm here. I know you have Jane too but if you ever need a break from her annoying ass then I'm here too." I smiled at that and looked at her. Jane threw a pillow at her but she caught it.

"Thank you Ash. That means a lot" I tell her, moving a little out from behind Jane.

I feel safer now with Ash. I did before but memories from the past and what happened yesterday have been clouding my mind. Ash smiles at me and I smile back.

"Come on. Breakfast should be ready by now" ash says standing up.

I grab Jane's hand before she gets up as well. We lock eyes and she nods. She helps me to my feet and wraps her arm around my shoulder keeping me close to her. Ash looks back and winks, making me blush. I grab onto Jane tighter not wanting to feel unprotected.

We reach the dining room and Aspen is finishing setting plates. Ash takes a seat at the table next to Kelley, while Tobin is pouring drinks for everyone. Aspen sees and starts her way towards us, I immediately turn on Jane's arms and bury my face in neck. I feel Jane shake her head as she leads us to the table.

There's a little bit of small talk at the table but everyone seems to be keeping their eyes on me though. I know they're just worried but I don't like it. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I shifted in my seat quite a bit. I barely ate. I took like 2 bites out of my pancakes and that was it. I mainly just pushed the food around my plate. Jane noticed because she reached for my free hand and squeezed it.

She leaned down a bit and whispered in my ear "Please try to finish at least one pancake. Then we can go back up to the room"

I looked at her and nodded. By this time everyone was finished and somewhere around the house. Aspen was washing dishes and I don't know where the others were.

"I'm gonna go spend some time with Greyson today. We'll still be on the property though. Let me know if anyone needs me. I'll be here right away." Aspen said leaving the house.

I finished one pancake and a small glass of apple juice. Jane was happy with and we walked upstairs. We passed by the living room first and saw Megan and Sue cuddled up watching a football game. They're actually a really cute couple. I think Ash, Tobin, and Kelley are somewhere in the basement playing arcade games.

"We don't have to go upstairs. We can chill with some of the girls if you want." Jane mentioned before we entered the bedroom.

"You can hang out with them. I'm just going to shower real quick. I'll be down in a bit" I smiled a fake smile at her.

I think she bought it because she returned the smile and just said okay, then proceeded down the steps. I walked into the bathroom and leaned against the door. I slid down and held my knees to my chest and broke down. Why did this happen to me. Flashbacks from that night came crashing through my brain. Invading my thoughts of anything good.

I got up from the floor and turned the water to a near scalding heat. I stripped myself of my clothes and stood in front of the mirror. How can anyone want me? I have scars running up and down my arms and legs from self harm. I have scars on my sides, stomach, and back from beatings. How can anyone ever love me? I'm a victim of child abuse and rape. I have depression and anxiety. I self harm and have suicidal thoughts. I'm broken. I've been broken for years now. Is it even possible for someone to fix me? Will I ever truly be happy?

I stepped into the shower and sat down right away. In a similar position as before, with my knees to my chest and my chin resting on them. I looked at my arms and started picking at my scars. I made them bleed a little. I didn't feel much pain until I put them under the scalding water. Then they started to burn. My back was already burning and now my arms. Why can't i stop hurting myself? Tears continued to flow down my face. I don't even know how long I've been in here for.

*knock knock*

"Peyton are you okay? You've been in here for a little over 30 minuets." I heard Ash say from the other side.

I couldn't even respond. I continued to cry and hug my knees. I heard her open the door and walk in.

"Jesus it's hot in here." She mumbled. I hiccuped from crying.

She ran and turned the water off quickly. Then she grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me, covering me with it. I felt myself being picked up and gently placed on the bed. I couldn't even more be or respond to what she was saying and asking.

At this point I felt completely numb. It's been a while since I last felt this way. Since I last wanted to die. Ash walked over to me with a t shirt, Nike compression shorts, and sweats. She slipped the shirt over my head then turned around so I can put the shorts and sweats on.

After a bit she turned around and sat next to me. She wiped my tears and pulled me into her. "I'm never letting you go okay? From now on. You'll never be alone. Jane told me she's really worried about you. When she came downstairs she broke into tears. She wants to help you." Ash says looking into my eyes. I give her a small smile. "So now. Me, Aspen, and Jane will never leave your side. One of us will be with you at all times. We love you. Aspen and I can help you. You can relate to us. Aspen has an idea of what happened to you. It'll be a while until she comes back. Aspen is just as broken as you are. Maybe even more. She'll open up to you more pretty soon. And Jane doesn't really know how to help you but she wants to. Megan, Tobin, and Kelley want to help you too but right now they'll be helping Aspen until she can get out of her own head. So it's gonna be and Jane right now. I hope that's okay?" Ash says all of this without breaking eye contact.

"Thank you so much for trying to help me." I whisper. Scared to talk normal in case my voice cracks.

"You don't have to thank me. It's perfectly okay to not be okay."

We smile at each other and I rest my head on her shoulder.

Hi readers. Thank you so much for the votes and comments. I appreciate it. I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know how it was. And HAPPY THANKSGIVING if you're American and celebrate it.