Just Breathe - Adopted by Mandy Gonzalez - COMPLETED

Epilouge pt 1/4

December 30th 2019

I sat in Joanna and I's shared dressing room knowing that in half an hour my Hamilton family would be singing Happy Trails to me. I'd been with the show officially for just over a year and been part of the Hamilton family for 2 years now. I was nervous to be leaving. I'd be stepping into the real acting world of having to audition and a have regular rehearsals. I'd followed in my moms footsteps, I'd been in her shadow and now I was stepping out and venturing off on my own. Joanna came into the dressing room as I was putting away the last of my bits. Last December she had let me decorate a little, and got a second chair so we officially shared the room. Previously it had been just hers but in February of this year I had become an alternate and understudy for the role. It meant I performed 2 shows every week, Wednesday Evening and Sunday matinee, plus if she was ever out. Joanna was also such a sister to me so we loved sharing a room. I would tell her everything and we hung out all the time anyway. She was my best friend out of everyone in the company. Sharing a room made us so much closer too. She began performing as Eliza on some days so I got to be onstage with her, that was a weird experience for sure.

"You ready to leave?" She asked when she came in.

"No. I don't want to go. But I know if I'm going to thrive in this career I need to audition and learn to audition and be myself and not just my moms daughter. That was one of the hardest things with this show. I was always just 'Mandy's Daughter', there was nothing special and I didn't do anything to get the role, besides a single vocal lesson. I need to go out there and be Becky and to do things on my own as everyone else does."

"I see exactly where you're coming from sis. Just go out there, perform like you've never performed before, show us what you're made of. I know you'll be incredible. Remember that your dad, sister, Karen, Chris and Lin are out there supporting you. Remember that all of us back here are supporting you. And you will always be part of the sister squad." Which was the name used to reference Mandy, Lexi Joanna and I as a group. "Don't think of it being your last show. Just imagine it's a normal day. But make it special."

"Thanks sis. I love you so much and I will try to come back and visit where I can. I'll be busy with auditions, training, dance classes, vocal lessons, acting lessons. I'm doing everything I can to improve my skills. That's what I'm using some of the money I earned doing the show for."

"I'm happy to see you are going on this journey sensibly. Spending the money wisely too. We're proud of you."

"This is your half hour call, and tonight's Becky's final show, so if you'd like to make your way to the chill out area for a happy trails before we send to off on her journey." Came over the tannoy.

"Come on sis. Let's go find the others." We stepped out of our room and and sure enough Mandy and Lexi were there. I took my moms hand and the four of us walked down. I was greeted with a huge cheer as I walked in. Tears were already filling my eyes and the show was yet to even begin. I wrapped my arms around my sisters and they all sang happy trails to me. Tears flowed down my cheeks as they hugged me. Was I actually ready to leave? "I love you guys so much." The others let go leaving Mandy hugging me tightly. It was only when my I was able to muffle my sniffles in my moms shirt when I heard her crying. "Mom, at least I'll have you forever. I love you so much. I don't want to leave but we both know I need to leave. I need to go out on my own, as we've already discussed."

"Yeah. It's just hard saying goodbye to you."

"You're not saying goodbye, you're my mom, I'll still be living with you and dad and Maribelle."

"I know. But this is so hard. Come up to my room. Let's do this in a more private environment." I nodded at the two of us walked up to her dressing room. We sat and cuddled on the couch. "I love you so much Becky, you're my daughter and you mean the world to me. I know I will see you every day and we will still be together constantly. But I'm going to miss you being here with me. Pretty much since your adoption you've been here every evening, and it's going to be weird not having the fourth member of the sister squad here."

"I know it's tough Mommy. Think about me. I don't want to leave you at all, it heart wrenching to be leaving. But I'll still be here at times. As your daughter I'm sure I could sneak in every so often to hang out with you, Lexi and Joanna. We can do things during the day as a foursome still."

"I guess."

"I know. Now I've got to get ready one last time. I'll see you in a bit Mommy." I give her a kiss and head back to Joanna and I's dressing room. I do my hair and makeup and put the dress on. Pictures of the four of us are taken and we head down just in time for places. Finally came the time for me to get onto that stage one last time.