Just Breathe - Adopted by Mandy Gonzalez - COMPLETED

63 - Mom talks

As soon as the show was over we quickly head home in dad's car. Mom carries me and dad carries Maribelle, because she fell asleep and the wheelchair. Once back in Washington Heights and in the comfort of my own home I relax a little. "Mom, can I sit on the fire escape?"

"Becky, I don't know how possible that is with your legs. I'm sorry honey."

"We must have a bit of wood around the place, we can use that to make it flat, either for it to be comfier or to put the wheelchair out there and I could use a pillow or cushion to sit on the wood."

"Okay, fine. But it's late and you aren't sitting out there alone. Either dad or I have to be there. Deal."

"Fine." I moan. I really just wanted some alone time in the cool breeze of the city. But I guess having mom there may be helpful. Dad finds a smooth piece of wood from the office and takes it to the fire escape along with a blanket and a few cushions. He then carries me out and sets me down gently. I let my legs hang off the edge and I lean against the barriers. I'm alone for a few minutes and then Mandy comes and joins me.

"Hey baby girl, how are you feeling?"

"Still sad, upset, angry, heartbroken." I lean against her and begin to realise how much I need her by my side. "I just can't believe he said all that to me today. And how Isabella tried to make it look like she didn't know about us. Of course she knew, she was there when he asked me out. He doesn't care that I'm in this terrible state physically and mentally. He doesn't give a shit about me anymore. And I guess I need to learn to not give a shit about him. I still like him mom, but I know I shouldn't after everything he's done to me." I begin to cry and whimper again and Mandy wraps her arms around me and rubs my side.

"Shhh, calm down honey. Let me tell you about my first boyfriend. We met in high school and started dating junior year. I thought I was in love, we were together for half of junior year and all of senior year. He took me to prom, and I was obviously very excited to go having been ill for my junior prom. So we went together and it was all good and then he caught sight of another girl in our year and he asked her to dance, she knew he had a girlfriend. He then kissed her at the end of a slow dance, while I was watching. I was heart broken, I didn't see him the rest of the night as he was with this other girl. He had texted me saying he'd gone home, not feeling well. I ended up just staying and hanging with my best friends. He then dumped me properly over the phone the next morning. He initially apologised but I didn't accept it and so he then ended our 18 month relationship. I was devastated and heart broken. He had taken my virginity just a few months before, and I'm just glad you and josh never did anything beside make-out, right?"

"Yeah, that's all we did."

"So I'm thankful at least that's all that's lost. And breaking up with him made me such a free person, I was happier without him and I had a wonderful summer without stressing about having to spend time with my boyfriend like I had between junior and senior year. Then the following year I met your father at CalArts and we hit it off pretty quickly. He asked me out just a few weeks after classes began, and I went out with him and I instantly knew he was the one, and he was. When I got offered the Bette Middler tour he was the first person I told because I was at school at the time. He told me that he would wait for me while I toured and would stay in school while I traveled and then we could decide on plans. He loved me enough that he let us go long distance for a year. I still called him almost every day to catch up and share things. He told me about his projects and I told him about the shows and all the places we got to stay at. And all in all he definitely did wait for me. Then when I came home, I said I wanted to move to New York and start my career, and so he came with me and we started a life together out here. I must say I love your father, so much and had I not broken up with my high school boyfriend, then maybe I would never have dated your dad."

"Well I guess I'm kinda glad he cheated on you, because then you did date dad, and I know he makes you so happy. And he's the best father I could have ever have asked for. I love him so much and you two are the best parents ever."

"Well we have the best daughters ever. So Becky, the lesson is, it my not seem good right now, but eventually good will come out of it and you will find the perfect guy for you one day. Remember you are only 17, and you don't have to date an actor. You can date whoever you want, girl, boy, actor, non-actor, anyone. All I want is for my daughter to be happy."

"Thanks mom. The one thing I'm worried about is seeing Josh at the theatre every day."

"Just be the better person. Stand up for yourself if he tries to hurt you again. Be stronger than he is. You did nothing wrong, sweetie, he's the one who broke your heart. You just have to go in there and be who you are. Be proud of who you are. And if he tries to talk to you when you don't want him too, just go up to my room. I'm sure one of the others will be happy to help you get up there and once you are walking again you can obviously go yourself. You are a brilliant young woman and I'm so incredibly proud of you after everything you've been through this last week. You're so Fearless." She kissed my cheek and I smiled at her.

"Thanks Mommy, you're the best, and that really helped."

"Anything for my baby girl. Now shall we head in, it's late honey?"

"Can we sit quietly together for five ten minutes, then go in. I just want to clear my head of everything, but want you here."

"Okay." We sit in silence for a few more minutes and then head inside. Mom carries me to bed and tucks me in. "Goodnight princess. I'll see you in the morning honey."

"Goodnight Mama, I love you."

"I love you too." She gives me a kiss and heads out the door as I fall asleep.