Just Breathe - Adopted by Mandy Gonzalez - COMPLETED

Epilouge pt 2/4

As the show went on I got more emotional. Mom and well, everyone noticed. Every time someone had a spare moment they'd give me a little pep talk to help me through the next number. It really helped me. I was beginning to sob during who lives, who died, who tells your story. After the song ended we all headed to the front of the stage to bow. This was it, my final hamilton bow. As I stood by by my mom I looked up at her, bawling my eyes out. She smiled sadly at me and then began to cry herself. She kissed my forehead and then took my hand. We bowed as normal and then everyone stepped back leaving me alone. I look at my mom and she nodded. I smiled and bowed again. She came up behind me and pushed me towards the centre. I reluctantly headed that way and then turned and blew kisses at my entire cast, all while sobbing. I grabbed Lexi's hand and my moms and pulled them into a tight hug onstage. After a few second I pulled back and gave a final bow to the audience. The band began playing and I spotted my dad and sister. I quickly blew them both kisses as they both were sobbing themselves. We all headed offstage, Lexi, mom and I crying. Once off we found Joanna and I separated from the three and hugged her. I began sobbing again.

"Shhhh, it's okay Becky. We are all here for you. Always." I just held her tightly.

"I'm gunna change." I ran to what was now Joanna's room and saw something wrapped up on the dressing table by my seat. I picked it up and read the little note on the front.

'Dear Becky,
Happy Trails. We all love you and cherish you so much, even if you can't see it. You are the little sister of the group and we are sad to see you go. We hope you enjoy this little gift we got you.
From all your friends (and family) at Hamilton.'

I put it down and changed quickly. Once dressed and ready to leave I picked up the gift again. I opened the door and headed to moms room. "Mama, are you good for me to come in?"

"Sí princesa." I headed in and sat on her couch, gift in hand.

"Do you know about this mama?" I asked. She turned to me from being on her phone.

"Indeed I do." She smiled at me and then turned to face the mirror again. "I can't believe you're leaving."

"I'm not leaving you though. Should I open this now? And who planned it?"

"Open it now, and Joanna planned it all for you."  I nodded and she came and joined me. I opened the gift and smiled.

'Becky's Hamilton Journey January 2018-December 2019' I smiled up at my mom and opened the photo album that appeared. It went through showing photos of my rehearsals, photos of when I sang at the heights concert. There were the pictures from when I wore the dresses for the first time and from my broadway debut.

It moved onto photos from my debut party and there were pictures of Maribelle and I and some with Benny. As they progressed through the 2 years it showed my birthday and formal debut and photos of me with various celebrities who came.

We had performed the Schuyler Sisters on the view which was incredible. What they did was amazing. Because they wanted to feature me due to mom and I also doing an interview about my adoption and then how I joined the show, Alex and Lin arranged it to split the Peggy lines between Joanna and I. It was funny how we both said 'and peggy'. So there were pictures of that day.

The next batch were from Broadwaycon which was so fun, I had pictures with loads of my favourite actors and of mom and I, as I helped her behind her stand selling her FearlessSquad merchandise and CD.

Then it was photos of when my birth parents came along with my birth sister. They were really nice and invited the four of us to go to England in February. We were only able to go for a long weekend because mom couldn't take any more time off because we had booked a vacation for the summer holiday. Meeting them was emotional for everyone, but they were so supportive of me and my mom dad and sister, they knew that they were my family and that things would never go back to me being a Smith.

Mom took me with her to the Tonys as she was invited for some reason neither of us were sure of, so I got to experience that a little. I had told her how she deserved one and she never really responded. Looking though the album of photos brought so many memories back. I really had had the best time.

As I headed to the end there were photos of the pumpkin carving challenge we did at Halloween and the door decorating competition at Christmas, that Joanna and I won! Our design was yellow and red for our characters but was all Christmassy still.

The last few pages showed photos of me with individual members of the company, including the crew, each of which had a letter or note attached from that person for me. I wiped away my tears and flicked through knowing I'd read then the following day. The notes even included Lin and Alex and all the creative team. From a glance they mostly talked about how amazed they were with my ability to be professional and work alongside actors who have been in the business for years. How quickly I was able to pick up the vocals and the choreography. I turned the final page seeing a photo of the whole cast and a final note from my mom. I shut the book and didn't read it.

"I'll look tomorrow, I'm emotional enough as it is. I just gotta say thank you to Joanna for this. Hopefully she's still here." My mom nods and I stand up, grabbing my bag, and leave the room and head back to Joanna's room. Thankfully she's there. "Hey sis."

"Hey Becky, I thought you and Mandy had gone."

"No, I stayed to open the gift you made me. Thank you so much, it brought back so many magical memories and I'm going to treasure it forever."

"Well I'm glad you like it." I nodded and gave her a hug.

"I actually have something for you to say thank you for being the best dressing room mate ever and to maybe remind you of me. I pulled a single framed picture of the two of us both in Peggy's Helpless and Satisfied dress. We were both looking at the camera doing a shoot on Peggy because she's often seen as the less cared about character or Schuyler Sister. So we were interviewed about that and what it's like to share a role in the way we did.

"Thank you so much Becky. I'm going to keep this on my dressing table forever, along with that painting you did for me. I have to go. But I will see you soon I promise and we will still text and chat daily I'm sure."

"Definitely. I love you so much. Thank you for everything. Bye." We shared a tight hug before we headed our separate ways. I said bye to lexi and gave her a photo of the two of us too and then mom came and the two of us headed home.

'I've had an amazing run as the Peggy/Maria alternate and understudy in Hamilton on Broadway. I'm going to miss my HamFam so much. Especially my sisters Lexi and Joanna (Mom, I ain't missing you!) Thank You Lin for the opportunity of a life time and I'm excited to make my own path.'

I posted it on twitter and Instagram along with a photo of me onstage.

This was it. My Hamilton journey was officially over. But even if I wasn't ready, I had to move on and build up my career.