Alice Story part 2

Family Secret

"What are you doing?" Ziva asks Tony who I am watching work his way towards a sexual harassment charge, because he is using McGee's computer pretending to be McGee.

"I'm in the middle of very serious negotiation," Tony answers her without looking up from the computer.

"You misspelled that," I inform Tony while pointing to the wrong word.

"On McGee's computer?" Ziva asks Tony while giving me a look that says, 'why are you allowing this and helping?'

"I know where you've going with this and the answer's yes," Tony answers.

"Then what's the question?"

"Does he have any shame? He was born without it," I inform her without care because Kate and I have already accepted his ways, as long as he doesn't involve us.

"Who are you IM'ing? Agent Larsen? And she thinks you're McGee?" Ziva asks while reading the IM'ing over Tony's shoulder. She continues with a chuckle, "And this is because she warned you that if you spoke to her again, she would have you brought up on sexual harassment charged?"

"That was a misunderstanding," Tony defends himself.

"Yeah, Tony wasn't trying to be pervy, he was just looking for Kate in the ladies room," I defend Tony, badly.

"Oh, so now you're correcting the record," Ziva asks Tony.

"I'm just trying to let her know that I... McGee feels that she may have misjudged me. And, that as a close personal friend, I can," Tony defends himself.

"Tell everyone that the males you work with are gay and the females have fucked you, after getting fake breasts," I finish for Tony making him fake laugh at me.

"Vouch for Tony's strength of character," Ziva reads before laughing at me.

"I don't have much time. She's being reassigned in two days," Tony hisses at us.

"Yeah, well you'll be reassigned if Gibbs catches you."

"Doing what?" Gibbs demands as he sweeps into the squad room.

"We were looking at McGee's bookmarks, trying to get an idea for a..."

"Birthday present?" Tony lies badly.

"Morning," McGee walks in as Tony finishes lying making me laugh as I move out from behind the desk, placing space between me and the bad liars.

"Happy birthday, probie. Have a bagel," Tony says to McGee while handing him a bagel.

"It's not my birthday."

"Grab your gear. Medical transport just exploded," Gibbs orders us while leaving the squad room, I quickly grab my stuff and follow him with the team slowing following us. Gibbs asks me when we're alone, "What's really going on?"

"You don't want to know. Trust me, I don't want to know," I explain to him innocently making him give me the glare but I just smile at him. I admit, "DiNozzo's trying to get fired."

"I thought that was your line."

"I'm trading up."

"Mm-hmm."

"I am. Just not on purpose, Tony just beat me to the punch line today. And it's not the madam director his pissing off."

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"We left the van unattended four, maybe five minutes, ups," Patterson, one of the paramedic, informs us at the crime scene because they only just got out of the ambulance before it exploded.