Never Heard

25.

06th February 2018

The past me would consider this the best day of her life but the present me just keeps on face palming herself because she realizes how stupid she was.

It was a normal school day, Isai and Jane kept on mocking me for Max and Jay then we just made fun of everything that was happening and whatever people said.

Today our school was hosting a winter concert after school and Jay's band was supposed to perform and Adam asked me to record it. Isai was supposed to stay with me but he had a football tournament and couldn't miss it. Jane stayed with me instead just because her 'mancandy' stayed back. It was fun though we hanged with him and the rest of his minions.

The best part was that me and him were in the same school last year and in the same class too. We hated each other due to the rumors that we heard about what we basically said about each other. This year though, we got a chance to talk and we realized that what people said was bullshit and we became friends.

We chilled at the back of the auditorium in the last row until it was time for Jays band to perform. I pulled out my phone and began recording. It was kind of difficult since me and Jane kept on giggling quietly not to disturb others and make the audio of the video better.

The spotlights perfectly cooperated with their outfits and Jays hair color and him as a lead singer he had ALL the spotlight.

As soon as they finished our group left the auditorium and began heading home. Jane had to catch a bus home and I had to catch a cab. We talked for a little longer until Adam approached me and talked to me for a little bit.

"How was the performance?" He asked, "honestly? Shitty..." I said, Adam laughed "Haha! What kind of answer did I expect from you? But yeah it was shitty to be honest." I looked confused, "One of the guys messed up because he got shy since his girlfriend was watching." He added, I smiled "Aw! That's so cute." I exclaimed, it was cute to be honest; like to get nervous in front of the person that makes you happy and loved. I wanted that too...

I was about to leave the school ground when I felt someone grab my arm. I immediately turned around and saw Jay. "Hey?" I said, "How are you going home?" He asked, "I was going to catch a cab why?" "I thought that maybe you'd like to go with me and we can split it." Added Jay, I was a little surprised at first but thought about it. I mean I wouldn't have to pay so much then. "Yeah sure!" I agreed happily. The boy led me back to the school building since he had to go grab his stuff. I waited for him and saw him coming back with Max.

I felt like my feet were glued to the ground, I couldn't move at all. The flashback of what happened filled my thoughts. I had to play it cool though. "Hey." He said, I smiled at him and the three of us walked to the bus station where we could catch a cab. Max began apologizing for everything and asking for my forgiveness and at first I didn't want that but I'm too nice so I forgave him.

Max lived 5 minuets away from school so he dropped us to the bus station and went home. Me and Jay were alone now and since there were no taxis we decided to have a small contest.

"Push-ups! You gotta do them as fast as possible and as many as you can, minimum is 10. The first one down loses and does whatever the other one wants them to do, but they have to be the proper push-ups!" Suggested Jay, not to brag or anything but I used to be a competitive swimmer for 6 years. Until my coach basically told me to fuck off but that's okay. "Watch me!" I exclaimed, "Will your lungs be able to handle it though?" He mocked me, I just laughed as I went down on the cold ground and Jay followed.

We began doing the push-ups until one of us lost, we looked stupid. Imagine two teenagers doing push-ups on a bus stop in February! Of course, it had to be me, my clumsy and addict self had to lose my focus and stamina. "What do I do then?" I asked disappointed, "I don't know...I will think about it." He said, I rolled my eyes and waved down the taxi that was approaching us. We got in and I told the driver my address.

"Are you gonna walk from my place?" I asked out of curiosity, "You can stay and eat if you want. Emily is home so we can chill with her." I added, the boy looked at me smiled and nodded, almost like a child. It was good since he didn't have to walk anywhere and he could rest. Besides, we've done that before, Jay would come over a lot recently. It sort of got us closer than before and not in a romantic sort of way but friendship wise. I never knew if he felt the same way but he never really liked to open up to anyone. Most of the time we would talk about his love for Harry Styles, 5sos and Panic and the disco. Then we would usually make fun of each other and he would tell me about his best friend AJ.

The rest of the car ride was silent, I enjoyed the views and Jay sat on his phone; pretty much just like always.

We collapsed on my bed as soon as we reached my house. Emily went out with Vicky and Bruce to the park but we decided to stay home and relax. I changed into more comfortable clothes and put some chill music on. It was slowly getting dark outside so I turned on my fairy lights that were on my walls and windows giving my room a warm cozy vibe.

I laid down next to Jay and closed my eyes but still continued talking to him. I started feeling cold so he raised his arm as if inviting me for a hug. I went for it, that was when I was wrapped in his arms and pulled close to his chest. I'm not gonna lie, it felt amazing. It made me feel safe. Jay put his hand on my cheek and began caressing it gently.

After 10 minuets I remember pulling away and facing him. His hand not leaving my cheek. We stayed silent for a little while until he said. "You're really pretty..." I was shocked, he never ever said anything like that to me and I literally felt as if I had no tongue in my mouth because I didn't know what to say. Once I came back to my senses I replied with a really shy "really?" He nodded and added, "Yeah, especially this close..." The boy went silent for a little bit then started talking again, "And your eyes are beautiful." I smiled and looked directly into his warm brown orbits. "I love your eyes." I whispered, he closed his eyes and opened them once again as he smiled lightly. "Do you like what you see?" He asked, "Yes." I answered after a small pause as I closed my eyes again.

The calm music filled the room combined with our silence. I heard Jay breathe slowly and felt his heartbeat, it was steady but loud. At that moment I felt him shift a little bit, his hand not leaving my cheek. My eyes were still closed but I could sense his face getting closer to mine. I didn't move an inch, Jay gently pulled my face up and continued to lean in. His hot breath hit my cheek. I knew what was coming and I wouldn't be able to describe how nervous I was. My heart was pounding, I could feel it and hear it. My eyes remained closed for the entire time.

He kissed me...

The boy who broke my heart and somehow put it back to pieces; kissed me and it wasn't just a small peck. It was a long and passionate kiss, the sort of kiss you want to last forever. His hand wrapped around my waist as he pulled me closer and I gently placed my palm on his cheek. Our lips moved in sync for a little while until I pulled away and smiled at him. He returned it and kissed me again. This time it was a peck.

How could I stop liking him after this? There was no way I would! I felt as if it's not gravity that held me to the ground but it was Jay. I know it sounds crazy right? Yeah, but I was stupid back then. Stupid in love.

For the rest of the evening we kept on making out and holding hands and cuddling as if we were a couple. I felt safe.

Once I walked him home he hugged me tightly and said, "Lou...Today was amazing but nobody can know, not even Isai or Jane or Emily. Nobody." I felt sort of threatened and sad at that point because I really wanted to tell them. I promised him that I won't say anything though and I planned on keeping that promise.

I walked back home all happy and stuck in the loop of memories.