Never Heard

55.

03rd August 2018

I can't put it to words, what it's like to lose someone you love. It's a difficult thing to deal with, especially if they should have been there to support you like they promised they would. However, I guess at the end everybody just shows their true colors.

I was currently on my way to Joe's house because he was leaving to L.A for university and we all gathered up to say bye to him. As I got there with Emily we greeted everybody and then Greg just started being himself and yelled out. "Oh my God Lou! You're glowing, did something happen, anything we should know about?" He stated, I laughed out and just shrugged my shoulders but from the corner of my eye I could see Alex elbow Bruce and the two of them chuckled. It wasn't long until it was time to say bye and obviously me being an emotional little bitch I began crying once to was my turn to hug Joe goodbye. The tall boy turned towards me and hugged me as tight as he could, to the point I felt my entire spine crack, "Don't forget about me, please." I cried, He pulled away and looked down on me, "How could I ever forget you Lou, you're such a lovable person. I'd never forget you." he added as he hugged me again, I got buried in his chest and warm embrace, the tears began falling down my cheeks even more, I may not have mentioned Joe in this book as much I was meant to but he definitely helped me out through a lot, more than most of my friends did to be honest, I was definitely gonna miss him. He left such a huge mark on me and he was one of the first people that I met once I moved here. Joe was taking away a big part of our group...

Right after the emotional goodbyes; Bruce, Emily and I came back to our place since I still had some packing to do. It was a late evening, I was chilling with Bruce in my room just talking about last night and laughing as usual, "Lou, I just want to make one thing clear," He said, he got serious all of a sudden so I sat up to show him that I'm paying full attention. "I just don't want you to expect anything to happen, like a relationship for example, I don't want any feelings involved, we can continue doing what we do as long as we don't catch feelings..." he finished, " Yeah! of course, I don't want anything like that anyway." I lied, maybe I should've told him right there that I've been into him ever since June? Nah! where's the fun in that? It was like a win-win situation for me, Bruce didn't know about how I felt and I got what I wanted which was him. Couldn't complain about that.

We just carried on into doing our things, from just laughing at everything to just talking about our current situation. Until it was time for me to say my goodbyes to him since I had to do other things.

I walked him all the way to the end of my street where we parted our ways. I wasn't leaving forever but I was still sad that I wasn't gonna see him for two months, we shared a long embrace just appreciating ourselves. After we pulled away; the two of us looked into each others eyes and I said, "I'll see you tomorrow". Ever since then it became our little thing we said every time he or I had to leave the country for a long time since both of us hated saying goodbyes we'd rather just say 'I'll see you tomorrow' it doesn't sound as sad and it's filled with that hope and affirmation.

When I was walking back home, I won't lie I did kind of tear up a little bit. Yes, it might've looked like I'm making a bigger deal out of this but I really will miss him and I'm sure he'll miss me as well.

For the rest of the evening I just decided to kick back with some series on Netflix and just relax; distract myself from the thought that I have a whole 6 hour flight tomorrow. That was when Adam happened...

Adam🌺 is typing...

Once I checked my phone I wasn't really surprised to see his name pop up because we still did talk from time to time. However, when I opened the message I just stared at it in shock, I couldn't believe it.

Adam🌺: You fucking slut. How could you do that?! You're such a whore.

Lou👽: Adam, what are you talking about?