Never Heard

3.

16th September, 2017

Saturday, what a peaceful day. Not really. Helping with unpacking is not the most peaceful thing you'd like to do on a weekend. What can I do? I just wish I could stay home in my bed and just relax and forget everything, like do some astral projection crap and just doze off or smoke crack but I'm not that type of person.

It's slowly getting colder, my favourite type of weather. Most people are sad when it rains but I have pneumonia, I find peace and comfort in rain. " Lou! Did you call your hairdresser yet?" Asked Mom, I growled as I raised my head from the boxes and remainded her that she's on a vacation. " Why don't you ask Jay?" Interrupted my sister, I looked at her confused. "Who's Jay?" I asked, "This guy from my Psychology class, he has dyed hair so maybe you should try to ask him for help." She added. It was weird 'cause I didn't even know how to contact that guy. She gave me his instagram and I came to the realisation that it's the guy that I keep on seeing in school.

I was tired of my parents constantly reminding me that I have to redye my hair so I didn't give it a second thought and I texted him.

Louise- Hey man! I'm sorry to disturb you but can you tell me where you dyed your hair since I'm looking for a new hairdresser. Thanks!

I didn't really have to wait long for a reply...

Jay- Hi, I dyed it myself so I'm sorry but I can't help you :/

Ugh! That wasn't much help at all but of course I'm a nice person so I thanked him again and thought of introducing myself properly. We talked for a little bit and he asked me for my snapchat so we could talk there. He told me where he lives and turns out that it's the same area as me. He seemed like a nice guy so we continued talking until I felt like he was tired of my bullshit and I pretty much had nothing else to say so I got back to unpacking my stuff.

Rest of the day flew by quickly, I didn't even realise that it was already night. I was pretty much done with unpacking so I just decided to go out for a walk and just calm my head from all the negativity that is flowing like river.

I like doing it, as much as it makes me seem like a depressed emo character, then be it. What ever makes ya'll happy right? For me, long calming walks make me happy. They help me think and endure all the pain that is stored inside my head. I kind of wish to change, or to at least meet someone that will help me change 'cause why not? Everyone deserves a second chance.

I walked on the side walk with my headphones on, looking at my feet and just enjoying the chilly breeze on my face. It was slowly getting dark, the sun was piercing top of the trees by the nearest park. I decided to go inside and just sit on one of the swings. I've passed few families with their children and pets, how I wish I was as small as them. Like do you remember those times? When your only problem was not getting the newest doll or eating that candy from the fridge? And telling someone you love them was as simple as playing pretend. I miss those days.

I sat down on the farthest swing so that no mom will come and ask me to leave so that her kid could swing. My eyes dropped down again and focused on my faded green hair that fell over my shoulder and was dancing with the wind. My hands began to feel cold so I hid them in the pockets of my hoodie. Swinging back and forth I began to think about my 'new' start. How do I exactly begin and not end up like Hannah Baker from 13 reasons why.

I raised my head up and gazed at the pink and blue sky. The colours fought for dominance until they collided together and created a beautiful shade of violet. I know I shouldn't be saying this but I need someone that is going to take care of me. Like an actual angel, and yes! I know it sounds stupid and embarrassing but I just need someone I can really trust.