Never Heard

42.

9th May 2018

Do you sometimes experience those moments where you're just minding your own business not expecting anything to happen? Like you're just doing your thing- not talking to anyone or thinking about anyone; you're just having some 'me time' and then something ACTUALLY happens and you're just like 'what the fuck?' Yeah! I experience those a lot.

When I was like 12-15 I was antisocial and a complete introvert. I hated going out and talking to people, it wasn't my thing. It felt alien to me. I could never understand my older sister Emily and her urge to go out and do something all the time. Well that was until I moved schools and houses and met my friends, now I'm constantly out. However that is not the point.

I was sitting in my room or my 'cave' as my family calls it since it's always dark and cold in there. I had a movie on as I was munching on a bowl of cornflakes; watching another horror movie. It felt good, having that 'me time'. Completely out of this world- just me, myself and I and a good movie. I wasn't expecting or thinking about anything except the movie I was watching and how good my cornflakes were. That was until my phone started vibrating, I paused my movie and picked up the device.

"Jay is calling" my Siri announced...

'What the fuck?' I thought to myself as my finger pressed the answer call button.

"Yo!" I said to the phone, "Hey hey Lou! How are you doing?" The boy asked, "Uh, yeah I'm doing good just chilling in my room. Why? What's up?" I responded with a question, "Here's the thing, so me and Max are out and we were thinking if we could pass by yours and chill there for a bit and then take you to the shopping center. Would that be okay?" He answered, 'Okay, what the actual fuck is going on?' I kept on asking myself that question.

Obviously, after what happened with both of them a normal person would say 'no' but it was me and I'm dumb and I always go the opposite direction. So as I came back to my senses, I responded "Okay, yeah I guess that would be fine." "That's great! We will be there in 15 minutes." He cut the call. I didn't even have enough time to reply to that. I just sat there in my bed thinking about what the hell just happened; then it hit me. I don't have enough time to go get ready. I sprung out of my comfortable bed and rushed to Emilys' room to put some make up on my face so at least I look a bit human. Picking my clothes wasn't hard so I simply put on a pain of jeans and a tank top and calmed down, knowing that at least I'm ready.

Soon after that I hear my phone vibrate again, it was Jay letting me know that they were outside so I made my way down cautiously because I'm clumsy and its most likely for me to die walking up or down the stairs with a cup of tea rather than car accident or murder. I know it's weird but I'm a dumbass.

I opened my door and saw two really tall guys. "Hey...." I mumbled out feeling kind of shy or awkward, Jay looked at me and hugged me tightly followed by Max.
We left immediately, of course I had to inform my family that I left and took the keys with me. They were going to come back at night anyway. I noticed that they came on a tricycle which seemed ridiculous but okay whatever. "Where did you get this?" I asked as I looked at the bike, "Oh Max stole it from my compound." replied Jay. I let out a nervous chuckle when deep down all I could think of is 'what is wrong with this guy' I knew that we weren't going to fit so I insisted on getting an Uber. I was right as always. After countless tries they realized that what I said was true and proceeded with calling an Uber to pick us up.

"So how's you and Adam Lou?" Asked me Max, I didn't want to tell him anything because he was completely untrustworthy and I had bad experience with him before. I guess what Adam said about him was right, 'SNAKE'. Once I recalled that thought I answered him in the most blunt way possible, "We're good Max, however it's honestly none of your business." He frowned and looked away, "Alright, sorry I guess." He replied, 'Yeah you better be fucking sorry. You treacherous and full of shit snake.' I thought, I wish I said that out loud but I didn't want drama and I'm a pussy, besides I always do that sort of thing once someone really hurts me or just gets me mad. I say the most awful things in my head about them and sometimes it helps me to make myself feel better or just because I'm really mad.

Yes, I'm a bitch...

I just completely disregarded him and talked to Jay, which seemed like a more pleasant and enjoyable conversation than a dialogue that I would exchange with Max.

Once we reached the mall we went to eat, and by that I meant them because I don't really enjoy eating in front of people. It sort of makes me anxious. As I watched them eat and stole few of Jays' fries from time to time; they began talking about the school gossip and I was more than happy to listen to that. Not because I'm nosey but because I just like to listen to whatever people that you see everyday actually think about each other. If you think about it- it's fascinating. Sure it was. From girls sending nudes and getting exposed to people cheating and all that sort of teenage drama.

What kind of triggered me is that Max kept on talking about these girls that keep on trying to have sex with him- he just kept on bragging about that and I don't care if it was true or not because like I mentioned before he's completely untrustworthy but even if it wasn't it isn't really a thing that you should spread around. What if that girl wanted to keep it a secret and just enjoy that little bit of intimacy. Sex is not something you should go around and expose to everyone, it's something sacred and meaningful. It can either make you the happiest person on the planet yet have the power to destroy you both physically and mentally. Just like love... maybe that's why some people call it 'making love'.

I managed to ignore him and just look at my phone for the rest of the time until we decided to wrap up and take a walk since Jay had to leave anyway.

We walked outside of the mall and made our way towards Jays' house. We decided to ask a stranger for cigarettes which surprisingly worked and smoked them on the way. Max continuosly tried to bring up Adam and get some information out of me but I had nothing to tell him; I didn't want to tell him anything anyway.

As Jay left Max decided to walk me home and take a cab from my place and I won't lie I didn't really like the idea but I'm a nice person and I don't like saying 'no' to people. If I can't be happy, at least I'll make someone else happy; that's all I can do.

We exchanged a small conversation here and there and sort of come back to good terms that we had before but I had to be cautious. It wasn't bad though. He didn't try to sexually harass me again- surprisingly.

Anyway, as he walked me home, I waited with him until his taxi arrived because once again I'm a nice person, we said our goodbyes and I stepped inside of my house. As I walked in I got greeted by my family and went upstairs to my room. Didn't really leave it unless I got hungry or I had to use the bathroom. I was back in my introvert zone.