Elena Gilbert's journal

05/01/2014

Dear diary,
It's been really cold here in Mystic falls lately ,the leaves are turning pale with a frosty touch ,and the air is freezing with ice . I've now moved into my new house which is about 5 minutes away from the old Salvatore boarding house , we've all been moving around this week..like literally! Stefan and Caroline have just moved to an apartment for the time being , while their new house is being decorated ...up in. New Orleans which I find quite strange considering Klaus ,hayley and hope are living up there... , Jeremy visited today with Maia the new "werewolf " in town ,it's really lonely without Damon , I basically have no one at the moment ..Damon and Bonnie are gone , stefan and Caroline are moving away ,Matt's travelling the world with Rebekah and Jeremy's still in uni ! I mean living with Alaric is great ,he's been a huge help and he's like a father to me ,I really do love him ,but he's been really annoying me lately warning me about hanging out with Enzo ..I mean he's a human now and he's alone and so am I ...I don't see the problem ,but everyone else always seem to have a problem !? Which is why we're both going to the lake house this weekend considering Ric won't let him stay .. We've really bonded these past few months ,he's been there for me , Stefan just keeps on shouting at me saying Enzo is trouble but stefan hasn't been there for me at all... He's been with Caroline ,whenever I call he never answers or replies .. I mean what can I do? I've made my mind up ,and people should trust my decisions ...so this weekend I'm going to visit "April in Foresttown" ...god I hate lying to people I love ...but sometimes you need to lie.. For other people you have feelings for...
I know I'm supposed to write all my feelings down blahblahblah but I don't know what to write ,the only thing going through my mind is Enzo ,which confuses me ? He tried to kill me when travellers were taking over mystic falls last year ..before Damon died ..but he saved me ..but still he tried to kill me ,he turned damon into a vampire-ripper/killer ,why the heck do I feel as if I'm head over heals for him? I've tried talking to stefan many times but he just flips at the thought of me and Enzo ,which sets Caroline off on a tantrum because she thinks we still have feelings for eachother . So I've decided to leave them out of this ,and for me to decide ,but ..I just feel so relaxed with him ,he tells me something's right and I feel that it's right ,even if I don't ..
It just feels perfect ,he always tells me to forget about Damon and my love for him ,and to love him ,but I do love him ,he seems to be my world at the moment . With everyone telling me what to do lately I just need to get away ,so that's why I've packed my bag ready for our secret,private trip down to the lake house ...