Wicked | Brendon Urie X Reader

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-12-

Memories, Where'd you go?

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                      It had been a couple of weeks since you had kissed him. It was an odd occurrence that shook your bones and terrified even the most enclosed parts of your soul that you never let anything touch. Though it was that satisfying type of fear, of terror like when you rode on a roller coster and you stomach would do flips when it fell. It was that feeling when you stood on top of a high building and look straight down. Adrenaline? Maybe. The fear of doing something you know you'll love and will eventually get addicted to? Definitely it.

Your hand held firm onto the smoothness of his face and your lips pressed to the softness of his. The kiss was strong and passionate, but Brendon didn't kiss back. He sat in shock of you movement as you pulled away. His face was frozen in time and eyes fixated on you with a slight flicker of gold running behind them.

"S-say something," you choke out, you voice quivering in fear at what he might say or do.

He had just spilled his heart about his previous soulmate and you just kissed him. What were you thinking? Why the hell did you do it? Though Brendon does nothing, he just sits there staring at you, motionless.

You felt your heart shatter and you dashed out of the room quickly, never feeling so embarrassed in your life. Why hadn't he said anything? Why did he just stare at you?

Fuck if you would ever know.

You decided you'd be best off just hiding away in the library with all the books and Gerard than face him. You locked all the doors and kept it so only Gerard and Pete could enter as they pleased, but you weren't sure if you could even deal with them anymore. Pete would always pester you about how Brendon wanted to see you and how you should even if you didn't want to. You know you should and you want to, but you don't know if you can face that embarrassment.

"Y/N, you're gonna have to talk to him sooner or later," Pete follows you around the library as you twirl a book in your hand and scan through the shelves for something else to read.

"It's not happening Pete," you mutter and pull down a book that reads, 'Boardwalk by geespicelatte', but then you put it back when you figure you aren't interested in it, "After what I did and what happened, I just can't. No matter how long I live here, or even to my death, I won't do it."

Pete huffs and stares at you angrily, "Y/N, you need to. I know you want to and you need to stop being so stubborn. You're never gonna be happy if you don't go do the things that hurt the most to make you happy. You're just gonna always be stuck in this place where you have no idea of what to do and who to be. Brendon is that piece and you know it. You told me yourself after you kissed him and ran to me sobbing."

He is right and that is what you hate the most. He was always right when it came to these things and that was basically a factor that went through with the two of you. He knew Brendon insanely well and he also knew you insanely well. That went hand and hand when it came to your problems with Brendon and Brendon's problems with you. Pete was just that gay best friend, who has not really shown any sexual attraction to anything.

"Alright.. Alright.. I will. I'll do it." You sigh out heavily and look up at Petes smiling eyes, "Just go get him and tell him to meet me in the courtyard."

Pete rushes out of the room faster than you've seen him do in a while and with a bright smile wrapped across his face. You merely shake your head and waltz out of the library, with the big book that Gerard had given you all that time ago.

It seems hard to think that you've only been here a couple months and how far you've come with everything. A few months can change a whole world for someone. A whole view. With you, it put you in a place where you forgot everything that you ever knew and this supernatural world of vampires just became a normal to you. A normal of seeing the blood, the violence, the hate and passion,