I've always wondered what would happen after I got older and tired of everybody's shit. I mean, once I stop letting people walk all over me and once I notice what I'm worth. You're entire life, people tell you to know you're worth and don't let people control your life. But the second you take that advice, everyone leaves. Whenever you decide that enough is enough, and you're tired of always being the last one to know things, the last one to get invited to things, and just being the last one, everyone decides that you're a bitch. Or you're selfish. Going back to the word happiness, once you start making your own, people feel like you're not necessary anymore. Now don't get me wrong, being happy all on my own is okay, but I miss my friends. I miss having people to talk to. I greatly appreciate the one friend I have more then words can say. But I miss having multiple. I miss being able to have parties and not stress out if people won't come. I miss being able to go out as a group and have fun. But I'm happy. I think. So why does it matter that I only have one friend? My one friend makes me happier then one hundred of them. But..am I actually happy? Or am I putting on a mask to control what emotions beg to come out? Who knows? Maybe I'm pretending so much, eventually I'll start to believe it myself.
