Fuck. I can't think of any other word to describe my life right now, just, fuck. Love? Who needs it right? It's just an emotion built up in our brains because a person thinks another person is amazing. Makes sense as to why people have a hard time feeling it for me. Happiness? Eh. It's better to be numb. Dull. Lifeless. When was the last time I was able to sleep properly without thinking about some boy? Never. Litwrally, never. It's either a painful dream, a nightnare, or a dream so great it hurts when I wake up because it will never come true. I don't care anymore actually. Stay, leave, I don't care. I have a total of four friends now. Whoopdy doo. The first one, is a piece of shit. I've known him most of my life and he's a good guy, but I would never go for him. The second one I've known for almost a year and is so sweet and nice to me, she deserves the world, as do all my friends. The third I've known literally my entire life and is a dickhead sometimes, but we're family that's how it works. And then there was one. My most favorite person in the world. My bestest of friends. The one I can't seem to let go no matter how hard I try. I am bewitched. I am cursed. I am fucked up. And I'm done. These friends are amazing and deserve nothing but happiness. So why do they bother with me?
