I gave up for a while. I did. I gave up on everything. Life wasn't worth it anymore. Love wasn't even a thought in mind. And happiness...i never thought I would experience again. And then I got up. I dusted myself off. And I told myself to stop fucking crying about things that didn't matter. To stop crying over people who weren't crying over me. To never think of myself as below another human being ever again. And I did just that. I'm not happy. I don't think I'm ever gonna be fully happy again. But there are time where I don't know what sadness is. There are days where my heart just is full of nothing but not and hope. It could just be the pills. It could be the nicotine or hell, it could even be another human being. But whatever it is I'm doing to make my own damn self happy, you bet your ass I'm gonna keep doing it. And I'll keep making sure that everyone around me is happy to. And sometimes that means sacrificing my own happiness. But that's okay. I know what will make me happy. I just need to be patient.
