I get it now. I understand. I am nothing. I am this speck of annoyance and pain. I am nothing to anyone. My family, my friends. If I died, right now, in this very second, people would cry. People would be sad. But they'd get over it. In a month or two, I would be completely forgotten. I dont think anyone understands how much love i really have and why i love so hard. I love people, my famoly soecifically, so hard because I don't know how to love myself. All I know is to love everyone else. Thats all i will ever know. I don't think anyone understands how hard it is, to pretend that you're okay, every fucking day of your life. Do you? Do you know what it feels like to smile and laugh and say, "I'm fine", but then turn around and cry so hard you can't breathe? I get it, mom. I'm a dissapointment. I get it, dad. You never fucking wanted me. I get it, best friend. I don't mean that much. I get it, crush. I'll never stand a chance. I FUCKING GET IT. I know I am nothing. Stop reminding me.
