I wonder all the time what I look like in other people's eyes. I also wonder a lot of the time what someone is thinking. For many reasons. One, because I want to know what I should change about myself in order to make myself look better to other people. And two, because I don't like mystery. I don't like not knowing. I don't think it's funny and I genuinely hate it. Wanna know why? Because my brain will force itself to believe that I am hated. That I am ugly and stupid and that the person who's thinking is thinking of ways to leave. I am so terrified of abandonment that it's literally controlling and ruining my life and my happiness. All I want to be..is happy. No worries, not a damn care in the world. Just happy. Hopefully I will be okay soon. I think I will be. ❤️
