I've decided to continue this for the sole fact that I haven't felt this happy in a very very long time. No I don't know why..alright that's a lie I do know why I'm so happy but we're not gonna talk about it. My heart is full, my head is clear and fuck I just feel on top of the world. I could do anything right now. Well, not anything of course. I could go jump out if a helicopter. I could go bungee jumping or become a tiger trainor. But I still can't say it. I can't say the words that built up in my heart. So I'm taking my words and turning them into actions. I'm turning them into my own emotions. The amount of love I have in my heart right now could fill the ocean. Of course I still have my dark spot. My dark spot won't ever go away and my thoughts haven't stopped. I'm just choosing to ignore them. I'm happy. I've never been happy and alone like this before. It used to be that loneliness was my biggest fear. My fears have changed. Their bigger. Stronger. Instead of facing them, I'm choosing the path of hapiness. Not sure how long this is gonna work out. But I'm trying. Fuck I'm trying to be patient and good. But somwtimes being good gets you nowhere. I'm ready to be bad. But where is that gonna get me? Alone completely, that's where. I'm just gonna focus on the fact that I'm fucking happy right now. And I'm gonna embrace every second of it.
