I give up. Not on my future goals. Not on who I want to be. I give up on this, whatever it's turned into. I have tried and tried and tried my hardest to keep shit straight and hold it the fuck up, once again whatever the fuck it is, and honestly i can see it going somewhere and I can feel it in the very bottom of my heart that I crave it and I want it, but I feel that it's one sided. And I'm really tired of things being one sided. So back to struggling to wake up every day. Back to not having anything or anyone. Back to the struggle. Because while I don't want it to end, and I will probably beg you to stay, I know you don't feel the same. And right now, I actually think you resent me. Hate me, even. And I won't force someone to stay around, when I'm not wanted. And that's just that. The one thing I was most scared of, is the only thing I'm sure will happen in my life right now. Sad. But you know. Back on my bullshit so. "I don't care"- mantra.
