So much has happened I don't even know where to start. I got my own place, I got a fridge and some tugs and a freaking microwave. I have a bed that's not a twin sized mattress on the floor, and it's a very good and wholesome environment. Until its not. Which is rare. And only when I'm home alone. It's kinda spooky. And well, lonely. But it's a place I can happily call mine. I pay rent and everything. I also got a new job, again. It's become the biggest blessing to hit my life so far. Oh and I'm getting an even better one. 18$ an hour is hard to beat. But I'm still missing something. Even though I have almost everything I could possibly want, and I should be happy, I'm not. Not conpletely. My heart feels numb and I don't like it. I'm becoming that person I used to be and all my progress is slipping away. I went from being this sunshiney, lollipop and rainbows bubble gum bitch to just a regular bitch. Then I found my light again. I found my happiness and I gripped on to it and I swore that I would never let it go. Then a bunch of shit happened and I don't feel it anymore. Now, all I ever do is work, come home, eat, sleep, repeat. I'm lucky if I get to have an off day but even on my off days, I sleep. I went out to lunch the other day at this little Italian place and I loved it. It was like I was finally able to relax so I did. That night, I had movie night planned, like I try to do every night but most nights I'm not even home for dinner, and I got called in to work and I can't say no. I have billsto pay. I don't know maybe I'm just tired. It's getting ridiculous at this point.
