I've come to the realization of why I did it. Of why I'm pushing everyone back and refusing help and making sure everyone is gone. When I die, I don't want anyone to care. Guy I love? Check. Best friend? Check. Siblings? Getting there. It's demented. It's fucked up. But if I'm going to die, why not cut down on collateral damage? I ruin every good thing I've ever had. I'm never going to be loved at all. And I'm never going to be in love ever again. I'm not going to be happy. I don't see the point anymore. I'm wasting people's time, when they should be worried about more important things. That's just the way the world works right? Life. Death. Then hopefully, rebirth into another life that's better than this one.
