I'm not sure what I feel anymore. This whole situatuon, our story, it's a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, fights, make ups, being in love, falling out of love, trusting and not believing, tears, laughter, endless nights of arguing and throwing shit and also more nights of cuddling and feeling special and you making me feel loved and me promising to never hurt you, and so so so much more. So much has happened and while we've had our bad times, I personally see that when we did have good times, they were amazing. But when we fought, it was worse than the one before. Every little thing that went wrong with us, was and is caused by me and I understand that. I left you because I was afraid to lose you, and from that moment was when I knew I needed to grow up. No, I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I'm stronger. I'm more confident. And this time, I'm not afraid. But, also this time, I'm so much more focused on myself. You have taught me how to live my life to the fullest. You've taught me that crying is okay, but to know when to buck up and be a woman. You've taught me how to be mature and adult when I need to be, but that it's also okay to want to be babied sometimes. You've taught me that life is not only worth living, but that it's so so amazing once I open my eyes and realize how great things can be. You taught me to want more for myself. You taught me that just because I have mental disorders, they don't define me. You taught me that I am my own person, and to not take shit from anyone, even you. You taught me how to love myself, Honey Muffin. You taught me how to love someone and to be able to stick by them through thick and thin even when I got scared. You are quite literally the reason I am alive today. And I'll never be able to thank you enough. I love you with my whole heart. I wish every day could be like 3 days ago. And as cheesy as it sounds, I'll always remember the way you look in the bare light of the moon. You'll always be my first choice for loving someone else. And you were the best possible person I could ever fall in love with. Thank you.
