Need Me; Taekook

Fourty

(Jimin)

I keep my gaze fixed on my coffee cup between my hands, feeling awkward but a little hopeful at the same time.
     First date. Officially.
     Hoseok sips his latte coolly with a bright but cautious smile across the table. The coffee shop is thankfully not busy and our little corner is quiet, just us. He suggested it.
       "I used to come here all the time before I met Yoongi." He admits randomly.
      My eyebrows raise. "Really?"
      "Mhm. It's always been my favorite escape. Really peaceful, you know? I've always been able to get out of my head here."
      I glance around at the chill atmosphere and friendly reception. It is nice. "You never brought him here?" I ask timidly.
      "Yoongi? He's the last person I'd bring to my happy place. Even at the beginning." He snorts.
      My lips curve into a smile. "I guess you're right. He's a bit of a downer."
      He groans. "God, yes. The negativity that came off that man was maddening. He always thought I stayed way too cheerful." Rolling his eyes, he scoffs. "Do you think I'm too cheerful?"
       I study him. "You remind me of the sun. So bright and warm. It's one of the reasons I...I fell for you." I blush.
      He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. "Thank you."
       "For what?"
      "F-for giving me a chance even when I treated you so badly and let him...I mean..."
       "It's okay. I'd like a fresh start if that's okay?"
       "Definitely."
      We finish our coffees and grab a snack before we take a stroll through the park, getting to really know each other. Something we never really got to do before. Nothing sexual and nothing negative. Just chatting and opening up.
       I really like this. I feel like a different person. Like I can be normal. Like I'm not just a whore. Just a normal guy in love with another normal guy.
      Biting my lip, I glance down at our clasped hands. They fit perfectly.
      "You know...you're really beautiful, Jimin. I don't think I've ever told you that but I've always thought it." He admits, stopping to look down at me.
      My cheeks flush. "T-thanks."
      Caressing my cheek, he leans down and kisses my lips. Just a little soft peck. It's sweet. "I'm so sorry I never saw you before. I was just too trapped in my own life to see things clearly. I wish I would have met you first instead of Yoongi."
      "Me, too. Well, we have a chance now."
      "Yes." He straightens up and grasps my shoulders, staring into my eyes. "Park Jimin. Will you do me the honor of officially being my boyfriend?" He asks.
      My breath catches. We've been skating around the subject for days but haven't really brought it up. "Yes."
       I'm pulled into a hug that I melt into. He smells so good. Always does. My smile is wide and intoxicating as we finish our date, grabbing a late dinner and heading back to the mansion.
      "How would you like maybe getting an apartment together? I think I'm done with doing porn. I just don't think I can stomach it anymore." He says as we walk into our now shared room. "There's only one person I can picture making love to." He smiles.
      Sitting on the bed, I think about it. "I t-think I'd like that."
He climbs into bed beside me and pulls me into his arms. We haven't had sex since everything happened. Just kept things platonic. It's been great, actually. I feel worth something. Cherished. Respected.
      I snuggle into his chest and throw my leg over his hip. "I'm glad because I already found one I think you'll love." He chuckles, shame faced.
      Gasping, I pout at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"
      "Wanted to make sure you wanted this, wanted me, before making big decisions. I think it will be good for us to get away from this place. Like you said—start fresh."
      I nod. "I agree."
      "There's this place riverside. Huge bright windows and on the fifth floor. A great view with a pool. It's perfect." He smiles, nosing around my neck, tickling me.
      I giggle. Feeling free and happy for the first time in a really long time. "Sounds great. Can we go see it tomorrow?"
      "Yep. We can also start moving in next week if you really like it. I placed a deposit on it but I can take it back if you don't like it." He explains.
     "If you love it I know I will, too."
     "Well, we'll see." He tickles my side.
     I smack him, grabbing his hand and somehow we begin wrestling, just playing and teasing and having a tickle fight. Our laughter echoing around the room.
      The door opens to see a cautious Jin peaking in. His expression softens when he sees us. "Thought a murder was going on in here with all the screaming." He snorts.
      I push Hoseok off me and sit up, catching my breath. "Sorry."
      "No problem. Namjoon and I are going to eat out with Jungkook and Taehyung. Want to join us?" He smiles.
      I glance at Hoseok who smiles at me. "Yeah. Well go. Give us an hour to great ready."
       "Okay. See you downstairs in an hour."
      I force myself off the bed and head into the bathroom, removing my clothes in the process. "Dibs on first shower!" I yell, running into the marble tiled shower and closing the door. Panting and laughing.
      Hoseok scoffs, wrestling the door open and stepping into the shower behind me naked. I shiver as the cold air runs over us. I turn on the hot water then turn around to face him.
      Neither of us are embarrassed. We're used to being naked. He places his hands on my hips and kisses my nose. "Want to wash each other? Saves water and time." He raises his eyebrows suggestively.
      I smile and reach up to kiss his lips. "Sounds like a very good plan, Jung."
      "Well I'm a very smart man. I have great ideas, you know."
       Scoffing, I turn back around and allow him to massage the shampoo into my hair. I close my eyes and bask in the safety I feel in his hands. I know I can trust him irrevocably. I know he won't hurt me. Not like everyone else. He knows how it feels. How I feel.
      He makes me not want to hate myself.
      He makes me want to love myself.