Need Me; Taekook

Fifty One

(Hoseok)

    I slam my fist against the door at the sound of Jimin's retreating footsteps. Flinching when a hard hand grasps my shoulder, spinning me around and pinning me against the door.
     "Let him go, baby. You know he can't handle your needs. Only I can give it to you just right. We've talked about this." Yoongi's smirk is purely malicious. He caresses my cheek before slapping me. "We both know you'll always be my dirty little whore. You can't function like a normal person and I think it's time Jimin realizes that and moves on."
      A tear slides down my cheek as I close my eyes. "I don't want this. You need to leave."
      He clicks his tongue, tightening his grip on me. "Aw, baby boy wants to change his mind after I've come all the way here just for you? What the fuck do you think I'm getting out of this except for petty amusement. You both had me arrested! I lost a lot of shit because of you." He releases me and shakes his head. "You should have been honest with him. I abuse you because you ask it of me. Sure, I'm a piece of shit. I'll admit that but don't think you're any fucking better than me, Jung Hoseok."
     I open my mouth to retort, to defend myself but I can't.
     He laughs. "You only left me because you were jealous of me giving to Jimin what you wanted. You just couldn't stand me abusing that little slut the way you craved. He's not wired like you, Hoseok. He could never understand. You and I—we're two of a kind. Why haven't you been honest with the boy?"
      I shake my head, frantically wanting to deny it but I can't. I love Jimin, I do. I want to take care of him and protect him and make him happy but...Yoongi's right. I have needs that Jimin would never understand—could never give me.   
      I don't want Yoongi. I hate him. I...I...I also don't think I could give him up—give up the feelings he draws out of me. I'm too in deep.
     I sit on the bed and muffle my cries. The bed that Jimin and I purchased together. The bed I just about made the worst mistake of my life in.
     I can't do this to Jimin. I can't let him leave me. I need him by my side more than I need or want Yoongi's help. I'll get help—real help. I'll deal with my issues but if Jimin leaves me...god, I can't even think about it.
      Wiping my eyes, I get up and begin dressing. Yoongi rolls his eyes. "You seriously think I'm going to let you just give me nothing after coming down here? Bitch, you owe me." He spits, grabbing me and throwing me back on the bed.
     I stare up at him, contemplating my options. He's right. I selfishly invited him here. I led him on. I actively made to cheat on my boyfriend for this asshole. And yet...I gave so much of myself to Min Yoongi. I hate him. I also respect his mind.
     I lay back and close my eyes. "Just hurry and get it over with. After that don't ever contact me again. I never want to see you again after this." I whisper. "I'm done."
      He scoffs. "Yeah right. You know what? I don't think I like this pathetic little needy bitch you've become. I don't think I want to fuck you anymore. Your ass really isn't that great." He grabs his jacket and slips on his shoes. "And I think you got that twisted—you contacted me first. Why don't we call this like it is and you lose my number. I'm done playing your childish bullshit. You and Jimin deserve each other." He slams the door on his way out.
      His words sting but I'm glad he's gone. I've fucked up so much with everyone. I deserve to hurt and be lonely. Jimin deserves better.
     Gathering myself, I finish dressing and run to my car, desperate to find Jimin before it's too late. God, I just hope he talks to me. Let's me explain. I'll open up and really be honest, explain to him just how fucked up I am. Show him the true me and only Yoongi ever knew existed.
      The me I've hid from Jimin the moment he met me. I need to hurt and I no longer want Yoongi to do it. I want Jimin to hurt me. Need him to.

      It takes hours but I finally spot his car in a club parking lot. Steeling myself, I walk inside and begin searching for him. I check every bathroom, bar top, private lounge...everything. I find nothing.
      I sit down at the bar and order a drink, feeling lost and alone. I deserve this. I hurt the boy I love the most. I don't think I ever loved Yoongi. Our relationship was purely lust pain and addiction. It was truly unhealthy in every way but we liked it like that. It was easy.
      Being with Jimin isn't easy. He's too sweet, too beautiful, too pure despite everything he's been through. He's nowhere near as dark as me. I'm the brighter side of Yoongi. The opposite side of a coin. Jimin is a gem. A beautifully sculpted one of a kind gem.
      I glance up behind the bar where a huge floor to ceiling mirror sits to view my haggard appearance as I drink. My eyes widen, however, when I see a familiar face leaving one of the back rooms. Shirt still unbuttoned and hair mused.
      I down the rest of my drink and get up, desperate. I run to him, pulling him into my arms. "Baby...please let me explain—"
     An arm rips me away from Jimin and I glare at the guy now checking on my boyfriend. "We got a problem here?"
     "Henry...it's okay." Jimin looks up at the guy and his eyes soften. I frown at this. He's already moved on from me? It's been like two hours!
     The guy reluctantly nods before kissing him on the cheek and walking away. I stare at my boyfriend, hurt and confused.
      I deserve this.
     Jimin crosses his arms, expression blank. "What do you want? You already finished with that rapist asshole? Figured he'd have butchered you by now." He sneers.
      Closing my eyes briefly, I sigh. I deserve this. "Can w-we talk? Please. T-there's some things I need to be honest with you about." I plead.
      Keeping his hostile gaze, he slaps me across the face. Tears shining in his eyes. "I hate you." He shudders, barely keeping it together. "I h-hate you so fucking much right now."  
      I cup his face and pull him into a random room, pressing him back against the door. My cheek stings but I relish in it. "I know, baby. I know you hate me. Do it again."
     He cries, breaking down. "W-What?"
     I kiss him despite his struggles to get free. "Hit me again. Do whatever you want. J-just don't leave me. Do whatever you need to then we can talk."
      "No. I want to go. I'm staying the night with Henry." He threatens, fire and rage in his gaze.
     I tighten my hold on him. "No you're not." I direct him forcefully onto the couch in the corner of the room and trap him under my body, pinning him down by my legs. "Hit me. Hurt me. P-please..." I beg.
      His eyes are wide and unfocused, confused as he looks up at me. With a moments hesitation, he brings his hand up and slaps me again, harder this time. I bite my tongue until it bleeds.
     Moaning, I kiss him again, straining to get closer to him, deepen the kiss. He knees me in the groin and I groan in pain but notice as his arms wind around my neck to pull me closer.
      He jerks a handful of my hair back hard and throws me off him. I land hard on the floor and remain there. He stands over me panting and shivering. I look up at him pleadingly.
     He kicks me in the ribs. "I hate you! You're nothing but a stupid slut! You deserved everything Yoongi did to you!" He sobs, kicking me again in the chest.
      I cough up blood but remain down. Preparing myself for his next assault. He collapses down on his knees Basie me as jerks my head up, his lips slamming down on my bloody ones, his tongue seeking and owning my mouth. He bites my tongue and lips and I moan, my cock throbbing in need.
      He pulls back, tearfully gazing at me. "Why didn't you talk to me? Why did you call him?" He cries. "Why!"
     I shudder. Disgusted in myself for hurting the one I love so much. "I'm s-sorry. I just...I didn't want you to know me. Not the real me. I was scared you'd be disgusted and leave me. That you wouldn't want me anymore."
      His shoulders slump and he sits back, hugging his knees to his chest. I notice the hickeys on his neck. "You r-really slept with that guy?"
      "Yes, I really did."
      I choke back a cry. "I didn't...I didn't sleep with Yoongi. That was the first time I invited him and I couldn't go through with it. I'm sorry. I didn't..." I can't finish through my own tears.
     "I wish I never fell in love with you."
     I nod. "I know. I'm trash. I'm worthless. You deserve better."
     Slowly, he crawls back over to me and straddles my thighs, cupping my face. I stare into his beautiful eyes waiting for the death blow to our relationship.
     Instead, he spits in my face and hits me harder than Yoongi ever has. I spit out a tooth, hissing in pain, collapsing to the ground and gagging on my own blood.
     His small hand fists in my hair and he glares at me. "You want to hurt, baby? I can do it. I can make you hurt better than Yoongi ever could. I can make you suffer."
      Lightheaded, I lick my lips and pull his face against mine. Kissing him hungrily. Needily. This is what I need. I need Jimin and I need him to make me hurt. "P-please, Jimin."
      His face softens a little as he caresses my face, leaving gentle little kisses on all of the marks he'd left on me. "I fucking love you and need you Hoseok and I hate you for it."
     I cling to him. "I love you, Jimin. Don't leave me. Please...I was wrong. You're all I need. I just need you."
      He touches my bloody lip with a delicate fingertip and I watch as he hesitantly sticks it in his mouth, sucking it clean. "Don't ever think about cheating on me again. I can only take so much." He challenges.
      I nod. "Never again. Im fully committed to you." I whisper, resting my head against his chest. I close my eyes feeling vulnerable and exposed. "Only you...master."