Chapter 18: Heart

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I woke up this morning and gotten dressed and I felt horny so I played with myself and got done quick. I took my shower last night and I got dressed,  cooking me some noodles ans watched something on Netflix. I walked to school and chated with my boyfriend for a bit. The day went so fast I fell asleep during my class then went to my metting that took the whole class period then found out that my lunch had changed. My friend was pissed off and took a test then watched a show and liked s few dresses. I talked to my one of my best friends but she's my right hand bitch cause if I'm going to fight she's gonna be right there and if another person tries to jump me she's right there to swing. I tell her most of my stuff then anyone really. So glad she's coming over this weekend. While I was cooking I got a text from Michel my boyfriends twin brother he use to like me but not anymore we're just friends. He told me what happened with kikyo and my heart was besting slow and fast cause hearing Matt kiss her made me feel some type of way. I admit I was jealous cause what happened to her he felt guilty for it. I told Micheal that I wanted to cut but he kept giving me reasons then I gave up but still going to hide my feelings anyways. I hate the fact people don't take or understand how I feel in my chest and it's burning with  emotions. My heart can't describe how I feel at times when it comes to him...

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This is how I feel when it comes to him when I can't speak but I, know in my heart I feel this way towards him

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This is how I feel when it comes to him when I can't speak but I, know in my heart I feel this way towards him. I write poems for him for days and there's not a day goes by that I would try and cut out time to make one and find a song. Heres one of the poems I made for him that came from my heart.

'You say that I'm a star like in the bight sky,  but all I ever hear is your sweet music as a lullaby.. In our song there's a harmony we both sing together in the middle of our song,  there's a beautiful melody... In your eyes I'm the perfect star;behind this world and galaxy by far, your arms are my castle and shield the sword that you hold is strong and how much, power you wield it even tho the stars are beautiful tonight and yet you say I'm out of this sight, the stars in the sky are shining so, bright tonight in my eyes I see the little light. I would always hum a ton of a song, you saying I'm your moon even tho it's been long , my heart sore so high in the above may I rest in peace like a dove,  glass shatters and breaks, love is a pain and suffering but we can only take so much heartaches, we reach up to the stars but they're so far away, wondering around in this world like we're strays. There's no doubt in my mind that you and I that we will be together forever,  even tho we have our ups and downs in this crazy weather, not many things we so with each, other we didn't do with other people, it's rare how we do so many things together and no one else. Your special to me and I to you, you told me I'm the most beautiful star in your eyes and I'm the only beautiful star in the world and in the night sky,  you love me for me and say the most sweetest words, you say things to make me smile even through it's been awhile. You and I have a special connection that can never be broken'

A heart can tell you and knows the truth also know how you feel,  the tears we it's how we know we're hurting our hearts hurting so much from pain... Or losing a loved one. My heart knows all my emotions and I pour them out at times even tho I hate it to admit it. My heart tells me as I follow it... As much as love is a pain and suffer it's worth the risk

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