Titania's Love Story

Chapter 44: Trapped

Today was a good so far but knowing had to get a shot and blood drawn i pushed it on the back of my head. Ever since this happened I bring nothing but pain ans anger to my mom and step dad. No matter what I do I feel like there's nothing to make them happy years they get proud cause it grades that's bout it nothing more. After school i went to the parklot to meet up with my mother so i can this blood work and injection done. I didnt wat nothing sugar after lunch. The injection was on my ass/ hips , after that I couldnt move around much so the nurse called me in and the blood work was taken one to see if I'm okay and the other is to see the gender of my child just great😑. I waa bit hungry so my mom got us food wwnt to the store before that than went to get my medicine.... It was 2 hundred dollars ans my step dad made more guilt in my chest cause of the damage ive done, I didnt mean foe this to happen I can't see the damn future! I held back my tears cause I didnt want my mother to cry I tell her things what she needed to hear but the only person I talk to bout my feelings is my loving boyfriend. Kaleb always been there for me no matter what the situation is, when I told him I was put on medicine cause of the std he didnt run away from me and that made me really happy, someone who would still love me endless and no matter what condition I'm in 🤗. I love him dearly and its cute when he puts up a fuss when I call him cute or whatever. Its funny cause I feel like hes already my soulmate, when I'm caged in my own feelings and want to cry even do self harm he manage to make me feel calm and free like there's nothing for me to be upset bout he makes me smile and laugh a lot when he makes his skits its funny yet cute. I dont like being trapped in a cage like a wild animal that I am....

~time skip~

Well I took my shower and sing along with the song and gotten dressed and took a pill then have to wait and hours to take another one to get rid of this curse in system ans hopefully don't puke them out oh yea I puked them up last night not good once so ever. But now I hope I have to take two gummies every day which I don't mind at all and my other medicine for my puking, I don't puke that much in the morning but it's always after school or at night , what hurts most is my arm , the lady moved the needle in my vein just to get another tube ready ugh its gonna sore for awhile now but I can bare it. At least i got my shower done and over with since my loving boyfriend said he did homework he reminded me of my English! But it cant be helped so I'm doing it tomorrow. I took a bite of the rice my sister had eating it all I said was

"Jesus"

Thats it the rice was fine but still hard I was talking to my younger sister does she hate me I'm glad she didnt hate me at first she did but not no more knowing her she loves me very much as my boyfriend does cause she cries when she cuts on or do self harm I wouldn't do that around her and I cry my best not to see her cry or make her cry cause of me. I feel like I should move in with my grandmother, knowing that I wouldn't be a burden I'm always forgiven for my sins but to my parents I'm just a burden to them I can see it in their eyes they hate me truly yea love is there but I'm just weighing them ...their words makes me feel like I'm guilty at fault like I hasnt feel any guilt already , putting more guilt on me is like me getting closer to self harm... They dont and never understand what I'm thinking how I feel when they talk bout certain things. Sometimes I wish I could've died but knowing that happen since I have so much in my life and who reallt wants me around them... Truth lies within the path I take and  heart gudies me in the right path...hopefully that path will lead with happy ending