Titania's Love Story

Chapter 30: Memories

It's been couple of weeks since I've been in my hometown boy I never get any rest at all watching my own sisters and my cousin's kids waking up early drives me nuts! But I knew I had to take my senior pictures while I'm here in different places and my mom wants some with my sisters and I find it funny that she said it in the last minute but oh well I wasn't worried bout it since knowing my own mother she wants alot of pictures but mostly me. The week went fast so quickly I was cold-hearted for a few days and one of my friend Terra she was happy that she was graduating and wished i was there but it turns out that I'm here crush and kinda made me happy for some reason but hey i wasn't complaining but i knew i have to be a bit distant to her since now I'm dating someone and i know someday someone will be there for her.  Flashback was coming back to my mind cause of my parents they have been well you know arguing ans fighting a lot and they tought me a lot of thing of not to be them at all but mostly how to be cold hearted to someone but I don't do that I only do that when I want to that's bout it,, I distance myself ans keep my emotions hidden cause I was trapped in a dark space. I try to tell how I feel but it's not howni wanted to feel. So many flash backs have been coming back to me kept up most od the night I've grown but my step father doesn't think I haven't changed which I did just not showing it to him. I'm keeping my distance a lot I see myself as an outcast from him,  my mother,  and sisters since well they all have the same last names and by blood , Im a big sister to them by bloos from my mom that's it,  but me I feel like my parents see me as a monster... I'm cursed and I remind my mom like my real dad and I don't want her to see me as him but in a way she does I show my good sides but they only see the worst in me that don't need to be out ; some time now I feel like I shouldn't be in  the picture of the family anymore if I'm only a monster to them... Not good big sister them it's all true I should just be in the shadows and be somewhere else... I'm. Never good enough to my own family I have friends who cares bout me I keep thinking I should just run away ans find a place to be at but I have no where to go to.  I'm laying here writing this and crying my eyes out while I have the chance.  I shouldn't be in this world and always felt like no one needs me ans only pretends to need me. I'm hidinf mt feelings away now I can't take this anymore...