Titania's Love Story

Chapter 53: Am I good enough for him?

Well, as we know this past weekend was national girlfriends day.  I was wondering what gift my lover was going to me, so yesterday he posted a video reading the caption it was for me.  I started to giggle then watched the video seeing the words of how he's going to take care of me and Tyson aka my son made me smile knowing he thinks of him as his own son as well.  Seeing how it plays the song mirror by justin Timberlake made me blush so badly.  It was sweet yet cute... Even yesterday night and today I felt like I'm not good enough for him,  my keep thinking everything that I do it's for him not only that but it's just me.  I wanted to self-harm myself everyday but I'm keep moving and breathing for my lover and our son,  even if we are far apart I feel like I'm letting my boyfriend down in different ways,  it's like when I call out his name he doesn't hear feels like he's far away from me but I know he's in his own world.  To me I wonder if I'm ever good enough for him in life or just in general,  sometimes I have doubts about myself.  I know he doesn't have anyone else that he wants and I trust him cause lwts be honest here I've known him for almost 4 years now. Ever thing comes back when I first got pregnant can I trust any guys words?  Are they just saying things so I won't worry?  I wonder sometimes if he does love someone else before we got back together... So many questions running in my head that's why I have that song above shown.  I am a strong warrior to everyone who needs a friend to have their backs but how many times do I get stabbed in the back ,  abused and hurt from everyone around me... Or that I loved for all my life.  I'm used to it I'm used to everything, no matter how many times I get hurt on the inside I just keep, it to myself but never knew how it would build up inside me and I break down alone.. Not wanting anyone to see me cry cause I'm strong and brave for everyone else that needs me to be. It brings me back wondering if I was good enough for anyone... My exs never treated me right when they got treated like a king.  I wonder would I ever get spoiled or get the attention that I need as a queen for a guy.  Get a long paragraph morning or night text but sleeping on the phone is better.