The Wrong Best Friend

Chapter Fifty Two: Gratitude And Regrets

CHAPTER 52: Gratitude And Regrets.

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
-Adele

The next couple of days were rough to say the least. I'd turned myself into a hermit, a recluse or whatever they called a person shunning others away from her these days. I couldn't help myself, the only people I turned to were Lilliana, William and José. Mum was worried but she was finally happy so I didn't want to taint her happiness with my sadness. Kelly texted me relentlessly, threatening and begging me to answer but I couldn't help but feel ashamed to face them.

I walked through the hallways with my head down, hood up and my sad playlist on my fingertips. I spent lunch with José in the library, left school five minutes early to avoid bumping into them. Martha was quite worried too but she often left me alone to wallow myself in books.

The first morning after the breakup when I went to school, Damon and Luke had shown up with bruised knuckles and a beaten up faces. I had no doubt Damon had lashed out on him, I felt even more ashamed and guilty. Charlie and Morgan had dropped by my house to check on me but thankfully I was at the library. I just couldn't face them.

I spent my days doing homework and studying, evenings running and nights crying in my pillow. I was falling apart and there was only one person I needed beside me. He was next door and angry at me, probably never wanting to see my face again. Not only had I told Damon, I broke up with him, caused brawls between them, said things I regretted to him, I mean seriously what the hell was I thinking? The taste of regret sure was bitter, no one exaggerated that.

It was Wednesday when our eyes met in the hallways for the first time, he was fetching books from his locker and I was staring at him like a creep. But I missed him, and if staring at him from a distance could soothe the ache, I would gladly resort to stalker tendencies. His hazel eyes were intense and empty at the same time, we had stood staring at each other, our worlds standing still while other's revolved around us.

All I wanted was to run my fingertips down his bruised cheek, kiss the fading wounds on his knuckles and hold him close to fix us both. Cause I saw how much he was hurting, how he tried to put up a front, he could fool the world but not me. I could see him clearly. Sometimes I wish he saw me too, maybe he did or maybe he didn't, I did ruin his world. But just as I had took a step towards him he had blinked and turned to walk away. I was too weak because I was reduced to a sobbing mess in the bathroom stall.

I didn't see Damon much, but I did see him once. Flirting away with a girl giggling and twirling her hair. I was hurt by the sight, but if that was going to make him feel better then so be it. Plus I had no say anymore. Maybe I was just easy to replace, too easy to move on from. But I did break the guy's heart so I had no right to feel self-pity.

Thanksgiving somehow lifted my gloominess. I helped mum to cook, clean the house and hang a few decorations for Emma. I knew mum had invited Luke and his family, obviously, she and Marie were kinda BFF's now, the triplets and Emma inseparable and maybe I would have been ecstatic but I don't know if I could face him.

“Ellen I hope you're ready. They will be here soon.”

We had invited Martha too but she had declined politely saying she was going to visit her friends that lived in the neighbouring town.

“Yes Mum. Give me a minute, I'll be down.” I yelled back to her as I inspected myself in the mirror. I decided on a high waisted denim skirt and a dusty purple knit sweater. The weather was cold but not too cold, just kinda cool. I contemplate wearing his charm bracelet but there's hardly a day I didn't wore it so I clasp it around my wrist. I tie my hair in a bun and let a few strands frame my face to look a bit sophisticated. I pad down the stairs barefoot cause mum hates us roaming around the house wearing footwear.