CHAPTER 17: Been Living Under It For A While Now.
"I don't care, go on and tear me apart
I don't care if you do
'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars
I think I saw you."
-Coldplay.
Feelings are volatile and ephemeral.
I personally feel that so.
They mess your mind up, flip your life for no necessary reason, and hit you when you least expect and need it. It leaves you defenceless, and battling with prejudiced opinions you've spent years building your life on.
They make you nothing but weak.
I've seen my mother.
It changed her.
She was a strong woman. She still is. But I see her small cracks that are visible when she thinks no one is looking. She doesn't sing and dance in the kitchen with the spatula like she used to, when her favourite song plays. I don't find her smiling anymore for no reason at the stars, she doesn't let out that small sigh of content when she finishes her warm cup of coffee.
Feelings are emanated by heart breaks, that strips you out of your comfort, and all the things that you've loved to grown.
But I cannot and will not allow it to change me.
So I blame it on my fear of finding myself in the mess of feelings, the silent panic attack I was going through while Damon drived us where ever. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being with him.
But crushing on someone and going out with a guy that can potentially turn into something else is terrifying and too different altogether.
That almost kiss has shook me enough.
I'm scared.
To be lead somewhere that is too good to be true and then suddenly alone and bare to the emotions that I don't know what to do with.
"What happened to your hands?"
"Flower girl?"
"Pardon?" I ask confused with unblinking eyes.
"I asked what happened to your hands? Are you okay there?" He places his hand on top of mine that was previously drumming on my thighs.
I let out a breath. "Yeah. Everything's good here."
He smiles and focuses on the road again.
"About my hand. I tripped." I decide to leave out the messy details.
"Could've been a worthy sight." He laughs and I look out of the window.
You have no idea.
"Hey, I was kidding. I would have caught you." He winks and I can't help it. I laugh, now relaxing a bit.
"Why, thank you Damon."
"See you're smiling, now that's a worthy sight." He squeezes my hand and I don't have to look at him to see he's grinning and I'm turning flush red.
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The Wrong Best Friend
Teen FictionWhen Eleanor Emmerson moves to San Francisco she doesn't expect to run into her childhood crush and she definitely doesn't expect him to ask her out. But what she isn't most ready for is his best friend who turns out to be her cute hot neighbour. La...
