November Rain

Chapter 22: The Broken Wall

Even an hour feels like a whole day if you're waiting for something that gives you so much urge. The urge to spill everything clean. Trust me, a conflict you least expected would be the one you have with your family.

As for me, it would be with my sister, the person I have my utmost respect for. She's the head of the family in this house. And because I grew up apart from my parents, she feels more like them than my parents themselves.

Hampir jam 10 malam ketika gue mendengar pintu dibuka. Gue sudah menunggu sejak jam 8 di ruang keluarga, pindah ke ruang makan, dan mondar-mandir nggak jelas. No matter what she says, I'm gonna be ready for all the consequences.

"Kak..." gue menyapanya langsung saat dia baru melangkahkan kakinya ke dalam rumah. Gue nggak pernah bener-bener manggil dia 'Kak' kalo urusan kami nggak serius atau gue lagi serius-seriusnya ngerayu dia.

Last time I called her that way was when she slapped my ex-boyfriend's face after he called me a bitch for asking to break up for the sake of my study. And it was ages ago.

Dia cuma melihat gue dengan tatapan dingin dan raut muka yang sayu karena lelah. She doesn't say anything, but she heads to the dining room and takes a glass of water.

"Duduk sini." she pulls a chair and commands me to sit across her. I do as she says.

"I can explain.." gue memulai dengan ragu-ragu. I know she's not gonna pull my hair or do something physically assaulting, but her words, that's what I'm worried about.

"Explain." jawabnya dingin.

"Would you promise not to interrupt until I finish?"

"Sure. Go on." she replied coldly.

So I start explaining everything from the beginning, how we met, how we ended up spending days together, how I felt about him the first time, how everything grew bigger and deeper each time I looked at him, how annoying he was and how much I loved being annoyed. No lies.

"It's just that... I felt it was unfair for Nick. But I couldn't stop seeing him. He said everything would've stopped if I asked him to stop, which I didn't. So it was basically my fault. I guess at least you should know why. Besides, I didn't know who he was.."

I know the last sentence sounds like a lame excuse but that's what I felt anyway.

"I know." Indira menjawab. I was waiting for further response but I don't get what I was expecting.

"So.. now you that know everything... terserah lu mau apain gue.." gue menyahut pasrah.

"It's the lie that I can't comprehend." ujarnya lagi.

Lie. That's what this is always about. All over again. Me and Nick. And now with Indira. I never meant to. I just dragged too much time.

"And for that I should apologize. I was completely wrong. Gue nggak ngerti gimana caranya bersikap, kak. How shocking it was when I opened the door, only to find out that the man who's been ruining my life for the past month was your best friend."

"And instead of telling me you guys just decided to go on, behind my back?" she asked.

"Yes, it's totally unfair to you. I was just... scared. That you'd be mad, or disagree."

"But it still doesn't mean you can lie.. Indrika, what did get into you? You've never covered things up from me before." she doesn't sound mad, she's just disappointed.

"I'm sorry.." that's the only sentence I can utter. I'm such a big disappointment to everyone.

"He's a good guy. I know he is." ujarnya mengganti subjek pembicaraan kami. "I've known him for years, and that was the first time I saw him like that."