Silent But Sinister//COMPLETED✔️

XXXIV - Throw It Away

My mind was awake once I heard my bedroom door open. My eyes stayed shut as I heard the familiar footsteps make their way over to the side of my bed. My head was buried into my covers and I felt Soldier wake up behind me, but I didn't care.

He dragged his finger on my cheek and brushed away the hairs that were covering my eyes. The touch wasn't anything tingly, so I was glad that the person touching me wasn't Kai.

"Rebenok, gde vashe serdtse?" Ogus whispered softly. (Translation: Child, where is your heart placed?)

I felt the bed dip beside me and I felt his fingers tangle with my hair, "Skol'ko boli ty nes v svoyem serdtse, chto reshil vybrosit'?" He asked hoarsely. It sounded like he had been crying, but nothing in me made an effort to comfort him. (Translation: How much pain did you hold in your heart that you had to throw it away?)

I wanted to answer him, but I wouldn't know how. I can't sum up the amount of disappointment I held in me because I can't remember. All I feel now is emptiness, I can't even remember my past feelings because I've left that all behind. I didn't feel like talking, I didn't feel like being upset about the people's actions around me. I just felt like I shouldn't trust those around me until I can finally take down my uncle. After that, I'll see what I feel like.

His hand then transferred from my head to rubbing my back gently. I didn't feel any love from the contact but instead I felt... contact. There was nothing to the gesture that I felt despite the fact that I heard sniffling from him.

"Chto zastavilo tebya chuvstvovat sebya takim kholodnym rebenkom?" He sniffled. (Translation: What caused you to feel so cold child?)

Betrayal, Ogus. I gave so much of my warmth and love to people that I eventually ran out of it. But shouldn't you be happy that I'm like this now Ogus? Now, I don't have to feel so much pain off of one person's actions. I can stop being so overdramatic and only focus on the more important things: my gang and my education. I don't care if I feel cold Ogus, I care that I feel satisfied with what I do.

I felt the weight of my bed lessen and I peeked my eyes open to see Ogus leaving my bedroom. His retreating figure was slouched like he had been exhausted and I don't know why he has. They shouldn't be caring as much as they do for me, they're just wasting their time on a lousy teenager.

After a few minutes my bedroom door opened again and I heard heavy footsteps make their way to the side of my bed. I felt a warm hand place itself on my shoulder and shake me gently, "Hey boss, time to wake up," he whispered.

I took in a deep breath and fluttered my eyes open to see Joe's steel blue eyes. A small smile spread across his lips but his eyes held the exact opposite. He rubbed my shoulder softly before walking back out of my room to let me get ready.

I turned over to Soldier to see him sitting on my bed, watching me as I scratched his furry chest. After a few more scratches I got up from my position and trudged to my bathroom to get ready for my flight.

The business trip is to England again with another fashion designer of mine; Michael Callson. He's one of the biggest and he's very serious about his business which I admired, he knew what he was doing and was always aware of everything going on around him when it came to clothing. It's actually fun to watch him scold other workers either because they mixed up the different patterns of leopard print and snake skin or because they didn't know the difference between crimson and scarlet red. It was fucking hilarious to see him downing a five hour energy and saying a small prayer.