Mercy please, save me

Chapter 43

"You didn't talk to anyone since the day you woke up."

I didn't glance on Hanzel who's sitting behind my bed. He's peeling an orange while me is just sitting and staring at the window, watching the blue sky. It looks really peaceful but not me, not my mind, and my heart.

It's been three nights and two days now. After Jared left me in the cemetery soaked under the hard pouring rain. Waiting, whimpering for someone who didn't show up. I waited for hours with Hanzel and I'm not even surprised but I don't know why he let me wait instead of taking me home.. or maybe he knows no one will come?

I believe on him when he said he'll come for me and help me. I trusted him but Johann did not showed up until I passed out and woke up in the hospital.

No one visited me not even Sherly. I saw once, my bodyguards outside of my room when Hanzel visited me in my first day here. Hanzel is the only one who stayed here, go home and comeback. I wonder how my father approves on that. He doesn't want me to spend so much time with his clients. Entertaining his clients have a scheduled and when times up they need to let me go.

Itinapat sa labi ko ni Hanzel ang isang pirasong orange."Open your mouth please?" nakangiting sabi nito saakin.

I knew Hanzel being playfully ruthless. When he said he wants that. He'll get that. That's why when he said I'm his girl no one dared to disapproved. Kaso ang nangyare dahil ayoko ay nasasaktan ako pero kahit naman sumunod ako sa gusto niya ay nasasaktan pa rin ako. Lahat nang ingit sakanya ako ang binabawian. Ako ang punching bag. So he'll get his revenge for hurting me.. That's my life cycle in St. Dominique with Hanzel. But he's different right now.

He stayed with me even though I don't want to speak or utter a single word to anyone. Everytime I refused to eat his food I didn't see him getting mad at me and shout at me like what he did everytime I disagree on him in St. Dominique.

Maybe the Hanzel I know is still there. The innocent looking evil but I can see there's something different on him.

"Kain ka na para makauwi ka na." nahimigan ko ng lambing tono nito kaya napatingin ako sakanya. Hindi naglalambing si Hanzel. Siya ang nilalambing ng mga kababaihan at hindi ko kailan ginawa. Ang mga salita niya ay may himig ng kapilyohan at kalokohan. Hindi kalambingan, hindi katulad nito. Nasisiraan na ata talaga ako ng ulo.

Nakatingin pa rin ako rito at binuka ang bibig saka hinayaang isinubo ni Hanzel ang orange.

"Honestly, I like you to just stay here. Maliban sa nasosolo kita ay nakakalusot ka sa mga meeting sa bagong kliyente ng ama mo. Mahirap ang maraming kakumpitensya baka maghirap na ako." at natawa ito ng mahina saka sumuno rin ng piraso ng prutas.

"Ganoon ba talaga ang tingin niyo saakin.. Isang puta.." malamig kong tanong sakanya at natigilan bahagya si Hanzel. It's not a question, it's a statement.

"Baby doll, your words. You're too great to be called that word. Call yourself a rare gem. One of the most precious and most valuable."

"Pinaganda mo lang ang mga salita. Ngunit hindi maalis noon ang katotohanang binubugaw ako ng sarili kong ama at isang araw ay tuluyan na akong ibebenta. Kung hindi puta, oh, edi ano? Aso?"

Tumikhim ito at tumayo saka naglakad-lakad sa loob ng kwarto ko. Pinanuod ko lang si Hanzel hangang sa humarap ito saakin at napamulsa.

"Yes, I know that. We all know that.. And that thing is not really surprising in Black Market. Someone who's powerful and very rich can make his or her child-children to be auction.. It's one of the anticipated event on the night. An event that only powerful and great people in Black Market can be invited.."

"You're just like them.."

Nagkibit balikat lang si Hanzel saka lumapit saakin. Naupo sa kama at kaharap ko na.

"The price starts is based on how good the person is. The background, the IQ, the family he or she came from.. You can be their puppet, assistant, a spouse or a slave.."

Nangingilabot ako sa mga naririnig kong impormasyon kay Hanzel. I can't imagine what can people do to me if that day comes.

"Hmmm.. So can't you just be thankful? I'll gonna spend some of my riches just to have you."

Umiling ako rito."Hindi ako laruan na ipagbibili kung kanino. Kapag nagsawa na ay ididispatya lang kung saan."

"Hindi ako kailan man nagsawa sayo, Sweet. Kahit kailan." natigilan ako sa narinig kay Hanzel.

Natawa ako rito."Bakit ako, Hanzel? Bakit? Alam mong noon pa man 'di bale nang umuwi akong may pasa at galos basta hindi ko susundin ang utos mo. Saan doon ang hindi mo pinagsasawaan? Dahil ba sa unang pagkakataon may taong hindi pinagbigyan ang mga kapritso mo? Hindi robot na sunod-sunuran sa gusto mo? Kasi hindi naman talaga. Hindi ako robot. Gusto ko ring mabuhay sa paraang gusto ko, Hanzel. Gustong-gusto ko." at hindi ko na itinago ang mga luhang namumuo saaking mata.

I never speak to him in this serious matter, ngayon palang. Kung hindi naman si Ate Beatrice ang sasabihan ko ng problema, ay wala talaga kahit si Faith. Kahit masakit hindi ako nagrereklamo, kahit mahirap tiniis ko. Kahit ikamamatay ko na mas pinipili kong tanggapin lahat. Lahat ng hataw saakin ng mundo. Ang mundo mismo kasi ang gumawa ng paraan para patahimikin ako at matutong itago ang lahat nang hinanakit ko. Hindi pa ba sapat lahat ng dinadanas ko?

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for everything, Sweet Miracle."

Walong salitang narinig sa labi niya ay ang pagbagsak ng luha ko. Sa unang pagkakataon ay narinig ko ang salitang sorry sa hindi inaasahang tao. Ang salitang sorry para sa lahat nang sakit na dinaranas ko.

"I did hurted you and I feel asshole for that. Well I'm really am. But everything that I did.. Ang saktan ka ay ang pinakapinagsisihan ko sa lahat. At oo, hindi ako nagsawa sayo dahil isang araw nagising na lang ako na yung taong gusto ko lagi nakikitang umiiyak ay gusto ko na. Tangina, mahal na nga ata kita, e."

Pinunasan ni Hanzel ang luha kong panay patak lang. He what? Imposible!

"I know you're thinking that it just a bluff. I thought it first too but when I saw you one time protecting Jacqiel. Naliligo sa juice at carbonara habang hinaharangan ang mananakit sa pinsan ko para hindi masaktan.. I just thought, I gonna protect that girl. Kaya kahit mahirap hinayaan kitang umalis ng school. Those bastard.."

"But that's not a reason to-"

"There's no way out now, Leveque." seryosong sabi nito saakin.

"It's bound to happen and I know it will be a bloody fight. People wants you for being a Leveque and Cardenal plus that necklace.." agad akong napahawak sa suot na kwintas.

"Hindi pwede.. Hindi! Hanzel, ayoko!"

"Let's just wish that you'll be sold to mine. You're too good to be true just to be ditched in that cemetery."

Umiling ako ng marahas dito hangang sa lumabas na si Hanzel ng pinto at iniwan ako na umiiyak. Ibinaon ko sa kamay ang muka at doon lumuha.

I don't want this life. If I'll be given a chance to go away, run away somewhere.. I promise, I will never go back here. Never.