Mercy please, save me

Chapter 15

"Sweet, is your mom already in town?" sabi ng katabing kong si Bernard habang nagsusulat kami ng activity sa isang subject.
Kaming dalawa ang nagkasama sa grupo.

Napaisip ako it's been 1 week since Mommy called me and as far as I remember she's out of the country for her assignment.

"Not yet..Why?" sagot ko. Hindi ko nilingon si Bernard at tutok pa rin sa sinusulat.

"Huh? But I saw her in the coffee shop last friday.."

Doon ako natigil sa pagsusulat at nilingon si Bernard.

"Coffee shop? Where?"

"Girl, yung kinukwento ko sainyo lastweek din! Palabas na pala yun ng City. We should visit it! I love their tarts."

I never asked mommy to her whereabouts. Its up to her if she'll tell me where she'll go at kung magtatagal ba. And I never tried to call her dahil wala naman akong load para tawagan ang number na ginagamit nila bukod sa international yun baka wala ding signal. At kung nasa Pilipinas siya ay sinasabi niya naman at siya pa rin ang tumatawag dahil yun ang bilin niya. Hintayin lang ang tawag niya. And I aways obey.

"A-ay baka kamuka lang siguro, Sweet. Baka namalikmata lang ako dahil malayo ako sakanila at saka lumabas din sila after bumili ng coffee-"

"Sila?" Tanong ko habang bumalik ulit sa pagsusulat na para bang hindi nagtaka sa nadinig. Imposible naman ata yun hindi pa daw siya makakauwe.. Lagi namang umuuwe saamin, saakin.

Pero napaisip din ako why wait for her to call me if can simply call her and ask her how is she? I'm her daughter not her client or patient.

"Yes. I saw the lady which I thought is your Mom with a man. Pero kiber baka hindi yun.." dinig kong tawa ni Bernard kaya tinignan ko 'to at bahagyang nginitian. Ngunit hindi pa rin nawala sa isip ko ang sinabi niya.

I'm staring on my phone right now. Nasanay na akong hindi madalas tawagan ni Mommy especially if she's out for her assignment and I never bothered asking her because she's on her job and also I don't want my presence to disturb her. It won't help her to move on. Pero dahil sa sinabi ni Bernard ay napaisip na rin ako.

Wala namang masama 'diba? Anak naman ako at natural na mamiss ang ina kaya mangangamusta.

Agad akong naghanap ng mauupuan sa loob ng locker room. Ilang minuto na lang ay magsisimula na ang P.e class nakapagpalit na kaming lahat ng uniform at imbes na sumunod kala Faith ay nagstay muna ako sa locker room.

I'll just want to confirm it. A call won't hurt.. or I just thought?

It feels like I've been stabed in my heart when I heard a ring then ring again.. and again, before I ended the call.

Is she really here? Why not come home? I miss her so much..

Blangko ang naramdaman ko habang naglakad at nakarating sa madalas kong tambayan sa mini forest ng school. I don't want to attend my P.e class. I'm too broke for that..

Nakaupo at nakasandal sa malaking puno. Hindi mawari kung anong mararamdaman. Ang sakit kanina'y mabilis lang dumaan at nawala. Wala na. Wala na akong maramdaman.

Kinuha ko ang wallet at binuksan. Doon ko nakita ang maliit at manipis na papel saka dahan-dahan binuksan. It's been a while my friend.. Kinuha ko ang blade at tinitigan.

C'mmon, Sweet. We've been through a lot. And you deal it with no one. Ikaw lang magisa. This kind of pain resulted by abandonment is nothing. You've been ditched many times, this is nothing.. But she's my mother. She's only one I have. She's the reason why I'm still holding to this dear life because I still have her.