Part 43

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Jensen comes downstairs and collapses next to me on the couch. "Is she asleep?" I ask with my eyes still closed "Of course not. She hates sleep. She is just staring at the toys" "Let's hope that she won't wake up Alex. I was swinging him for two hours now and my hands are like numb" "It's ok get some rest" he says and I nod. He hugs me and I lay on his chest. "Aaahh" I hear a little voice. I pretend to cry "Stay, I got her" Jensen says and gets up "It's not Jo" I say and I get up too "It's ok, stay and get some sleep" he says and kisses me.

After a few minutes I hear Jo crying too. I get up and I force myself to walk upstairs. "I said get some sleep" Jensen says "I know but Jo disagrees" I say as I pick her up. "Give her to me, I think that Alex is hungry" he says and I nod. I hand her to Jensen and I take Alex from him. Jensen kisses my head and I go to my room.

I sit on the bed, laying my bag against the headboard and I unbutton my shirt, I position Alex and he starts eating. After he is done, I lay on the bed and I lay him on me. He was already asleep and I probably fell asleep immediately.

I wake up and I don't feel him on me anymore. I open my eyes and I sit up. "Calm down, he is at his grib" Jensen says. He was laying next to me "They are both asleep, but it won't last long. So enjoy it" he says. I lay back down and I cuddle next to him. He hugs me and kisses my head. "You are doing great" he whispers "No, I'm not" "Yes you are. You are amazing" he says and kisses me.

"But I don't feel like it" "It's ok. Gen, your mom and my mom told me that this could happen and it's called PPD" he says in a really soft voice. "It's basically a phase that the new mommy is likely to find herself in after the child birth. She is feeling like she is doing everything wrong, she is failing everyone and she is always tired. But daddy is here to remind mommy that she is amazing and that she is doing a great job" he says softly and kisses me "I love you" I say and I kiss him "I love you too".

He kisses me and I kiss him back. My hand is cupping his cheek and, softly, rubbing it. His hand is on my side and he slowly moves it to my inner thigh. "I'm sorry" I say and I tear up "What happened?" "I'm sorry, I can't right now. I never thought I would say that but I'm too tired to have sex Jay" I say and a tear escapes my eye. He wipes it with his thumb "It's fine baby. Get some sleep, ok?". I nod and he hugs me again. "Thank you" "Anytime sweetheart".

The next morning, I woke up alone in bed and in a total silence. The last time that I wasn't awaken by babies cries, it was a month ago. I get up from the bed and I walk to the nursery but nobody was there. I go downstairs and I see Jensen feeding both Alex and Jo the milk that I had left for them in the fridge. He had them laid on the couch and he was sitting in the middle, holding each bottle to each hand. I smile and I walk to him.

"Good morning" I whisper and I kiss him "Good morning. Sleep well?" "Yes. Thank you. I see that you are doing really well" I say and he chuckles "I am trying to copy you. Come on take a picture, I know you want to" "You're right, I do" I say and I take my phone.

"Now go get dressed because Gen will be here to pick you up in 10 minutes" he says "For what?" "For your day

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"Now go get dressed because Gen will be here to pick you up in 10 minutes" he says "For what?" "For your day. Today you are off mom duty. Go feel like a woman again" "And what about you? You can't do this alone" "Of course I can. And Jared will be here with the boys and Odette too. He'll help if I need to" "Yeah, that makes it better" "Don't worry, we are fine. And we'll stay fine. Go have some fun, you deserve it".

I hug him and but his hands are pretty occupied. "I love you" I say and I kiss him "I love you too. And thank you for fighting so we could have this today" he says and I smile at him.

I got dressed as fast as I could and I manage to get ready until Gen came. "Hey girl. Ready for spa day?" she asks "I think so" "Let's go then" she says and I nod.

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