Brain Talk

Lacey~I had a draft but...IGGYANCÉ

So I originally wrote a looonnngggg and undeniably boring chapter about how the friendzone isn't real but then some things came to ma attention...

IGGYANCE POWERS UNITE!!!!

CALLING ALL IGGY AZALEA AND BEYONCÉ FANS TO THE COLORED CARPET OF FANCY SINGLE LADYNESS!!!

So lets go back to where this downspiral falling of great and powerful women started.

So first of all, a few months ago, Iggy fell off a stage during her performance. And then I was in Walgreens the other day waiting on my dear slow mother to stop looking so we could leave. I was passing the checkout place with all the magazines, because I had had enough of "What color looks better on me?" And "Ooooo they have it in 237,898 Colors too?! I have to look at every one of them, to make sure my daughter ends up throwing up if someone even says eye shadow!", and was going to the car. So I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of Beyonce and baby blue ivy on the cover of one. So naturally I stopped in place and, without ever once turning around thankyouverymuch, I back tracked to aforementioned magazine stand. Then I saw the headline that shattered the very meaning of love I had lived by. THE ONE CELEBRITY POWER COUPLE I LOOKED UP TOO FOR LOVE ADVICE!

There in bright pink letters sat the bomb that nearly made me fall into a rack of movies.

'JAY Z AND BEYONCE: SEPERATED AND ON THE ROAD TO DIVORCE!'

And that ladies and gentleman was the story of how I died in Walgreens.

I didn't actually 'die' by definition of the law but you know I don't go by that old thing.

So yeah I had a mental breakdown in Walgreens. I was legit biting my nails like a crack addict who hadn't had my fix in three months. And I even shed a few tears in the car as I pulled my headphones on to drown in Bey.

Oh and just moments ago Iggy had to go and make sure I had another breakdown.

I kid thou not, she split the back and straddle of her leather tights while twerking on stage, BUTT TOWARDS AUDIENCE, at a bah mitzfa.

Join me in the head shaking of sorrow for the seams of iggys pants.

No but like when I watched the video her butt was like right in that birthday boys face.....I wonder how many friends he has who praise him now????

I think around 50 plus the 126 he gained because of the incident.

50+126=176 friends who praise this young Jewish man.

Yeah. Iggy has that kind of power.

Lol XD

so yeah not only does Iggy keep putting herself in disastor mode while on stage but noooooo Bey and Jay have to go and get divorced and like I'm just sitting here at 1:30 praying they can work it out for blues sake....

Yeah that's the only reason.

NO ITS NOT U GUYS KNOW IM LIKE FALLIBG APART LIKE WORSE THAN IGGYS PANT SEAMS RIGHT NOW.

and omg I literally just came up with that.

BACK TO FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS ;)

hot dang maybe I need to just make a pun chapter. I mean not only is Iggy all 'get up in yo face' and 'I ain't afriad of no ghetto trash' but she GIVES ME NEW OUNS BECAUS EOF HER WARDROBE MELFUNCTION.

THANK YA IGGY.

I HOPE IT WORKS OUT BEYONCE!

JAY Z GET UP AND MOVE YO TALE SON YOU THINK U GON FIND AMOTHER BEYONCE?!!?!? SON WE HAD TO DIG THE ONE WE GOT OUT FROM A PILE OF DIAMONDS AND EMERALDS THERFORE MOVE FO SHE LEAVES YO BROKE YET TOTALLT A MULTI BILLIONARE BUTTOCK.

Now that I've had my say and (not quite) made my peace, ima go to bed.

Nitey nite lovelies!!!!!

~L.