You are my addiction

15. My Breath

'One realizes the importance of breath only when they are drowning....'

Kao:

After coming back to my room, I tried again, Again, For the infinitieth time Pete is ignoring my calls, no  reply to my messages. He knows pretty well he is not supposed to do this. he could be busy, he could be feeling hard to find time to breath, But a reply atleast an 'okay' would really help for me to sleep right now.

Though it does not make any sense, Its not like I can control it, I am getting more and more anxious and annoyed by the minute, Its stupid, how else can I explain this restlessness in my stomach that's building in me everytime I can't reach him. I am gonna have a tracker installed on his phone, so I can deal with these situations from now on.

I am gonna call him again, he would pick it up at some point atleast to subside the annoyance of his ringtone won't he?

This is new to me, being so into someone. Is this what love is. It looks like it won't be long since i get ulcer with amount of stress and sleep I am loosing over this damned idiot already. I am angry now, soo angry that I can feel the heat in my breath, and I know this anger is gonna turn into worry and finally dilemma if he doesn't contact me soon. 

"Relax brain don't go wild thinking about worst. Relax heart, you know deep down if something is wrong you will be the first one to know. Listen to me you pity organs, why do you have to be soo over dramatic he is just MIA for a few hours guys. I want to get some sleep so please calm down. You know I have to start the day early tomorrow, whatever that is happening right now, i am sure its not good for my health." I am talking to myself for hours now.... My feelings are on a rollercoaster....

Does he even like me, Why would he ignore me sooo badly if he does...

"Oooo shut up conscious...I know that one word from him and you would melt like chocolate in his hands, have some self respect..."

This is the only way I can spend time now, Trust me I have tried everything in the last couple of hours, Listening to Music, Meditating, Watching a Movie, going for a run, reading a book, Talking to a friend.... Nothing, Nothing is calming me down....So I just resorted to talking to myself... I am scared that I might have to live with this for my entire life now.... And at this rate I don't think my life expectancy would be more than a decade... Aaaahhhhh..... I am calling him again....Straight to voice mail again....

I am exhausted. Is he even human... If not out of the fact that we are now dating, atleast out of humanity, he should have replied to me by now considering the number of messages i dropped and calls i have made.  

Its almost Sun Rise time and my dilemma has now turned into hopelessness... I am not gonna even let him step into my room for the week... I am really mad at him that I don't even have any curse words left to throw at him....

I was checking my chat again to see if he has replied when finally sleep goddess took pity on me and I drifted off on my study table, giving in happily.

But not before typing and sending a message

"Pete, Don't even dare to show me your face from now on"

I wanted the message to be more threatening and  I am hating myself for not being able to be rude to him. He is really lucky to have me and he doesn't even seem to be caring about it. I spout fire at no one.

I woke up to the banging on the door and felt my limbs numb, should be because of the posture i was in. I tried to straighten and let the blood flow before i walked to the door.

I opened the door and to my surprise it was indeed Pete. All the emotions rushed back to me like they are injected into me at his sight. I was happy, sad, angry and relieved all at the same time.