Hunter: Gods & Monsters

31st May 2014

Dear iBob,

Just for the record, Archer is hot, right? I know, I know - he's an animated character. Beyond that, he is a drunken spy with Mummy issues. What's not to like? He has those beautiful blue eyes and you have to admit, he does wear that suit well. Oh and he's hilarious. Lana is one lucky bitch.

Kara claims it's the first sign of a mental breakdown.

I still think I make a valid point. I mean, look at He-Man and Prince Charming. They got nothing compared to him. The only one that might come close is the guy Pocahontas was meant to hook up with - John Smith, not your smartest choice Poca, and thank the gods you didn't go with him in the end. I'm not even going to acknowledge Pocahontas II... What's his name in Mulan? Shang? Then again, Mushu has to be up there in the dragon stakes.

Actually, Kara might be onto something.

Anyway, I came here today to tell you this is it.

I throw my hands up and surrender.

I've been dreaming of a time that's peaceful. Where things just are and life just goes on. This last year has actually been that way. The Powers left. The drama ended. Life went on and yet a part of me has not ever really moved on with it. That peace I dream of never truly found me.

How could it?

Do I even belong here, in this life of mine?

My best friends, love them - and you know I'd do anything for them... only I can't help wonder if they would do the same for me. Things aren't how they were before. A lot can change in a year, a week, hell even a day. I scared them last year. I know I did. They hide it well, but whenever I use my powers, I see it. The way they hold their breath; see their eyes widen. Penny always stands a little taller as she tenses. Raya clenches her hands and her jaw.

I try to be 'normal' around them. I carry a gun I don't have any need for. I still drive a car or a motorbike to see them and when I leave.

It doesn't bother them when Portia stops by when Ailin vanishes here and there or her demon side appears. Kara can talk of battles that sound like they were memorised from a myth and legend storybook, drop names of gods and speak of things from a hundred years ago and they don't flinch or miss a word.

It hurts.

So, as part of my self-development and attempt at not isolating every single person around me, again - I ask them about it and I get lies. It doesn't bother me. Oh, that wasn't because of you. It was just a surprise to see that happen. We forget you can do that now.

Ironically, the only person who doesn't seem to hold any judgement or fear is Michael, Colton's friend. Even Matt gets a look as he looks at me sometimes and I feel like I am the bad guy. His eyes go darker, like the pupil bit explodes. He spaces out. I wonder if he's having a vision as that's similar to what Portia does but he just says he got distracted and it's fine.

Fine.

I really, fucking, hate that word.

I'm fine.

You're fine.

We're all FINE.

They asked where I've been, what's been going on and I tried to tell them. Penny gave me, you're looking for trouble speech before I even got the bulk of it. Raya agrees, that by even going after Heath was me getting myself involved. I ended up telling them the same version of events I originally told Ailin. Grey's portal had been tampered with, we got lost, he sorted it out and turns out Heath was part of another doomsday cult - which on a side note, we found out is running at a loss in numbers, especially now the bulk of those left are now in the Council prisons.

If I didn't have the Valkyrie I don't know where I'd be now. I feel like I have a place there with them. They have become the family and connection I need. And I need them. This past year, even these past few weeks have shown me that. With them, I have ignored, fought and avoided anything that may interrupt my thinking that we can stay out of the war in 'that' world. I believe that refusing to help, to stay out of it all as they had done for years until our paths crossed, that it would be enough.

Well iBob, that time is now. Recent events have made that clear and I will not sit around, watching Disney movies and let it all come crashing down onto me. Don't ask me what is next or what I plan on doing exactly, as I'm still trying to work that out and I have Season 5 of Archer to watch. Oh and I have to go to Mums for her stupid monthly dinner, but I'm taking Olivia so hello good reason to leave early!

But after that, that other world asshole and co, better call Kenny Loggins cause they're in the......

Danger Zone.

Elise Bunting
(Mrs Stirling Archer)
Too much?

Note to self: Call Colton to confirm time for Penny's engagement ring shopping trip. Like I said, still best friends... and gods help him if he picks the wrong fucking ring. You could say, he'll be in the danger zone.