Type: ANGST
Ship: ,,, none, really, just concerned friends
TWS: self-harm, crying, suicidal thoughts/actions, slight panic attack
--------------------------------------------------------
Sayako Kaneki was happy.
That was the outside view of her.
She was a bit popular because of her boyfriend, Matt.
She played basketball and won a lot of games.
She had the brightest smile.
... But she also had PTSD from being kidnapped.
She had to live without her father.
She had depression and anxiety and didn't enjoy living.
Which weighed more, the happiness or the sadness?
most days it seemed like the sadness took over her life.
She sighed at the thought as she laid on her bed in her room, a razor in her hand.
She sat up and pressed the blade to her pale skin. She could still see marks from the last time she cut, about a month or two ago.
Of course, no one knew.
She winced as she felt the sharp metal pierce her skin.
One cut.
another slash.
Two cuts.
once again the blade pierced her already-marked skin.
Three cuts.
Blood pooled on her skin, creating a contrast between pale peach and dark crimson.
Now four.
She repeated the cycle until there was no more space on her arm.
Both sides were covered, blood pooling and dripping onto the towel that lay under her arm.
She sighed shakily, patting the cuts with the towel.
Another contrast between ivory white and deep red.
She took out the bandages from her bedside drawer and wrapped up her arm.
She was getting better at making the bandages nice and even.
Was that a good thing?
Probably not.
The fact that she'd done this so many times that she was learning how to perfectly wrap her own arm?
She sighed sadly as she shook her head.
Unhealthy habits.
She leaned back. If anyone saw the bandages, she'd just say it was for aesthetic.
And then her door opened.
She looked up and saw it was the seniors.
And Izzy.
First of all, how did they even manage to get inside?
Secondly, why were they here?
Sayako raised an eyebrow at the crowd, crossing her arms.
She winced at the stinging sensation she felt in her arm as she moved it.
Matt furrowed his eyebrows. "How bad is it?"
Sayako could never, and will never, EVER, get anything past Matt. He always knew when she was upset.
She sighed and looked down. "It's all over both sides... And there's almost no clear skin on my arm..."
Sora's eyes widened.
Tai gasped quietly.
Matt looked at Sayako with an expression that she could barely read.
Mimi just looked plain sad.
Izzy looked at Sayako with a look of slight pity.
"You... You don't have to hide from us. You know that, r-right Sayako?" Mimi said quietly.
Sayako stayed silent.
"Saya." Sora said gently.
Still silent.
"Sayako, please." Tai urged.
Nothing.
"Sayako, please talk." Matt pleaded
"I can't NOT hide. I've spent my whole life hiding." Sayako whispered.
The teens went silent.
"Sayako. You can be vulnerable in front of us." Izzy said firmly, yet also gently.
Sayako seemed to take in the information.
She simply sighed.
"I'm sorry." she said quietly, running a hand gently through her hair.
Matt looked at her with a softened expression. "Don't apologize."
Sayako just nodded, as she knew that she would have said sorry again.
After that the subject swiftly changed, as everyone could sense Sayako's discomfort.
And all was well.
