This is angsty and im sorry.
lowkeyaventsortofbutlikenotrlly
TWS/CWS: Self-harm/self-injury, crying, nausea, depressing thoughts, suicidal thoughts & actions, self-doubt
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He sat in his room, sighing quietly.
He'd made other people happy. He'd played off being happy.
He'd plastered on a smile for so long, he could keep going, he HAD to.
He was okay, he was fine. Nothing was wrong. Everything was fine.
He just had to keep on a plastic smile forever.
And no one would notice.
No one would notice that he was breaking slowly. No one would ever notice that he desperately needed help.
No one would ever see that he wanted to jump off the bridge that hung right over the ocean.
He shook off the thought. No.
He had to be happy! He was fine.
... Right?
For the first time in his life, everything was so much that he was considering self-injury.
He knew what self-harm was for.
It was to punish yourself.
Or to take out your inside pain on yourself.
No one ever needed to know.
He'd found a pack of razors that were supposed to go in razors for shaving.
He took one out.
He almost turned back. he almost threw it out. he almost yelled. He almost got help. He knew his sister and her boyfriend were in the living room. He almost screamed for help. he almost cried.
He almost got the help he needed.
Keyword almost.
The second the razor pierced his pale skin, he felt regret. Regret and pain.
But he kept going.
It was... Relieving, in a way?
He kept going until there was no more room.
And then, finally, he stopped.
Blood pooled.
He wiped it, patted his arm with a towel.
What did he do?
Oh gods, why did he do it?
He took a deep, shaking breath.
And he wiped the rest of the blood.
He pulled on a dark purple hoodie.
And he walked out of his room.
He smiled.
Waved to his sister and her boyfriend.
Walked into the bathroom and forced himself to keep smiling.
Even while tears rolled down his cheeks.
This wasn't who he was supposed to be...
