TWS: mentions of death, grief, sadness, cutting, depression
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Savanna had always been a very sweet girl.
Smiled at people in the halls, had good grades, even passed out cookies and cupcakes to anyone who wanted one on Fridays. And gave people hugs on Fridays, too.
And then she was offered popularity.
She was promised happiness, she was promised being liked. Friends.
So of course, she accepted.
What else could anyone want?
Apparently, there were all kinds of rules of popularity.
Don't speak unless you're spoken to, or unless you're making a rude comment. "The whole room doesn't need to know you."
Wear makeup, but not too much, "like a whore They fuck."
Wear more this, but don't wear that, "that's too pastel, eating makes you fat."
if he bullies you, it means he likes you. "You should say thank you!"
14 year olds like her are too young to know abuse. "Why can't you just fuck boys like a NORMAL GIRL would?"
Savanna had these rules memorized. How could she not, when they were what she must live by from 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM?
The sweet girl that everyone looked forward to seeing, became a rude, makeup-obsessed, boy-crazy bitch.
So, in short.
It went from,
Savanna. Sweetest girl you'd ever meet.
to,
Savanna. She was a mythic bitch.
At first, she just became unhappy. Then it got worse.
She knew when it was at its worst when Ellie handed her a razor and just said, "You know what to do."
And Savanna did know what to do. That was the sad part.
And one day, Ellie tapped her pocket lightly, and Savanna simply nodded silently and pulled out the small bag that her razor lie in.
She went to the bathroom and locked herself in a stall.
And she pulled the razor down her already-marked up skin.
one, deep.
she heard the door swing open as she heard light laughing, but she still practically screamed in pain as she pulled the razor away from the cut that had started pooling blood as it dripped down her arm. It hurt. It was deep, and a crimson red on her tan skin, and it HURT.
"Uh, is someone in there? Are you okay?" She recognized the voice as Sora Takenouchi's.
Savanna sighed heavily as she shoved the razor back in its bag and stood up, trying to run out of the bathroom.
Sayako grabbed Savanna's clean arm.
"Fuck no, you're washing this." She said in a stern, motherly tone as she pulled Savanna to the sink and washed out the wound.
Her arm was littered with cuts. Some deep, some shallow. This one was going to be a deep scar.
After it was cleaned and properly bandaged up, all of the digidestined simply stared in near-awe at Savanna.
Finally, Izzy cleared his throat. "Why?" He asked quietly.
Savanna sighed as she listed herself up to sit on the sink counter.
"I wanted to be popular. B-because they told me that, that people would like me. People would pay attention to me. And I wanted to be noticed." Savanna explained in a small, sad voice.
"You wanted to be popular... To be noticed?" Matt asked with a raised eyebrow. He was figuring this was another case of Isaiah-Said-I'd-Be-Cool-so-I-Listened.
Instead, Savanna nodded.
"I wanted to be popular. If I was noticed enough, I wouldn't have extra time to think." She sighed, "My father passed away when I was 12. I started to get real bad. So, I started doing things to stop thinking about the bad stuff. And then when that didn't work, I turned to cutting. And then finally, popularity." She sighed.
Well.
That was not expected.
"Savanna-" Tai started, before Savanna cut him off.
"I'm okay. Thank you. I'm going to tell them I don't want to be friends anymore." Her smile drifted as she thought of the consequences.
No more being forced to wear certain things, but also no friends. She'd be outcast.
The smile was put right back in place as she left the room.
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And Savanna was right. Ellie and Phoebe started spreading the rumor that Savanna was crazy and obsessed with hurting herself.
Isaiah said she assaulted the three of them once at a party.
No one dared talk to her anymore.
She started to realize that this would be the rest of her high school years.
Alone in classes.
Sit alone at lunch.
No more friends.
And no one at her birthday parties.
She sighed as she thought about it.
April 15.
Coming fast.
It would be another sad birthday where her mother cooked breakfast, gave Savanna a present and then went to work.
And a small cupcake, or real cake, if Savanna wanted to make a real cake, would sit at the table, and she would say happy birthday to herself and call it a day.
Sad but true.
And then, she saw a group of teens and preteens sit at her lunch table and start talking like they were friends.
She sighed as she shook her head. "I don't deserve friends." Savanna stated simply.
"Too bad." Harmony grinned as she hugged the troubled girl.
A smile spread across Savanna's lips.
And around these people, Savanna actually felt at peace, for once in a long time.
