vent chapter. au.
basically there's this guy that matt and saya have known for a while. matt and saya aren't dating. sayako had introduced jay to matt when they were younger. matt fell for jay. sayako stays silent about her love, as to not disturb him.
tws: depressing thoughts, heartbreak
i needed to get my emotions out. sorry.
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Sayako's POV
Matt and Jay had met when I was 13, when Matt was 15, when jay was 14.
I loved Matt more than words could express. All our friends knew I loved him.
They thought he loved me too.
One day, matt and I sat at the park together. He was scrolling through his phone, smiling softly. I looked at him.
"Sayako, what's that one emoji Jay uses when he's in love?"
I thought for a moment before speaking. "The heart that's growing, like a heart inside a heart inside a heart."
Matt smiled a little. "I think he likes me."
I felt my heart drop a little bit.
"Do you like him?" I questioned.
He paused.
Then he smiled.
And he sighed.
"Yeah, I think I do."
I felt cold and I felt my heart drop as I nodded. Matt stood up as a car pulled up to the curb. his dad's car.
"Ride's here. I'll text you later, Saya." He said as he got in the car.
I watched the car drive off before I started crying.
I quickly texted Jay.
Saya: do you like Matt?
...
Jay: no??
Saya: are you sure?
Jay: maybe a little.
I felt my heart shatter as I read the message over and over again.
I shoved my phone in my pocket as I walked home.
Alone.
When I got home, I went to my room and shut and locked the door.
Of course Matt doesn't like me.
Why would he? There's a million people out there who are better than me.
I'm gross.
But it still isn't fair. I loved Matt first.
I could see our whole future.
But it wouldn't happen.
Because Matt and Jay loved each other.
un-fucking-fair.
~*timeskip about half a year*~
Matt and Jay were dating.
Very publicly.
They kissed and flirted in class.
It was painful to watch.
The one person I'd ever loved.
kissing and flirting with a guy I was friends with..
I tried to force myself to get over it.
To be happy for my two friends.
But I couldn't.
I didn't want to be Matt's friend.
I wanted to be in Jay's place. Sitting next to Matt and flirting back and forth and kissing.
A sigh escaped my mouth as I watched them.
For once, I wished we could just actually learn math in math class.
I put my head on the desk and sighed, pulling my black jacket's hoodie over my head.
Then I sat up as I felt a burning sensation in my throat. I asked to be excused and Cedric let me go.
I ran to the bathroom and tried to throw up.
Instead...
Blue rose petals erupted from my throat into the toilet with splatters of blood.
Oh no.
