New Struggles

Understand.

Words can't describe how bad I feel about your situation. I know it first hand. My dad and yours are the same. Not exactly but most things. We've been in the same boat for years. That helped us connect I think. Maybe I'm wrong. But I just wish I could help you more, I know I can't do much but be here. I feel absolutely horrible. I know we both have shit relationships with our dads. And your dad got taken and honestly mine has too. I feel like I never really had one to begin with. Both of our fathers hooked on drugs, waiting for the next buzz or high whatever they wanna call it. They don't take much responsibility for what they have done to us or our families. No matter what our father do we want to hate them wish that it was different but we can't hate them. They made us right? I love my dad don't get me wrong but sometimes I hate him. He's brought me so emotional and physical pain he literally punched me in the face but I still love him. I guess I have a thing for loving toxic people as most people can tell. But he's my dad. He threw me out of my house with nothing but a few things then decided I could go and actually grab things. He turned my world upside down but yet I still come out on top. And you should too. Fight through the pain the heartache of this situation and see some good in this. Yes he might be in jail, but maybe he will relalize everything he was risking. He could have blew himself up or over dosed on something. You don't have to sit up worrying about that anymore. Yes there is still going to be worry and sad times. But everything will be okay. I promise you that. You know I'm here. Some days yeah you think I'm not I'm sure. But I am. I can't go on leaving you some through this. You didn't leave me when my dad threw me out. You were there for me. Bought me a pack of cigarettes when you were broke clearly. I'd be lying if I said I didn't love you just want the best for you. I wish I could make things different. Make it where our lives weren't so shitty. But it brought us closer to each other if you really think about it. I'm clearly just going on and on and I don't know if anything even makes sense but I'm just saying that I'm here for you completely. I just wish things would be better. Idk I guess that nothing is suposed to make sense. Just like us still taking. Not in a bad way if that's how you take it. I'm glad nothing has taken us apart. And I can't let it.
I know you're like me you let it sit in the back of you're mind. And try to forget about it let things make you laugh and try to forget. But it's gonna be there always. You have to get emotion out yeah I'm bad at that we know this. But you know you can text me anytime. Even if it's just ranting or complete feelings. I'll be here forever. If you don't want that too damn bad you signed up for it lol I love you bud I really hope things get better 💕