Am I doing this right?
Life ya know.
It feels so wrong. My bedroom ceiling is getting tired of hearing me scream and cry about this. The radio in my car tired of hearing me yell those lyrics at the top of my lungs. Wishing for everything to stop. Wanting it to go back to normal. Back to our normal. The laughs, the tears, the stupid looks we all gave each other. I just miss how we were, I'll never forget it. It's like a movie playing over and over in my head. I'm so fragile lately and I don't know who to go to. I should be going to him, he doesn't know the problems I have. How can I tell someone I'm not okay if all they have ever seen is me being okay. The persona of laughs and endless smiles. The one to pick him up when he's crying everytime I have to leave lol. I can't go to her, I don't want her to know I'm slipping again. I need her to think I'm still happy and okay with everything. I told you. Because you're the only one who really does know me in and out. You knew I was upset and you're hundreds of miles away. But they have no idea. Idk, I e been thinking about you a lot. I miss you. I just wish I could call you again and be like yo come over to my place or to hers. While we just sit and do whatever. I guess it's finally setting in that you are gone, well not gone but not here. Shit hit me like a fucking truck. But it's not your fault. I wanted you to go. I wanted it to help you. Get out there. Find new friends. Find love. Find whatever your heart desired. I thought I made the right choice but fuck I should have made you stay. I guess I'm just selfish. Idk. I need to stop and just let this go but I can't sometimes.
YOU ARE READING
New Struggles
PoetryJust some entries, some poems, some just plain feelings and rants about things that are going on in my life. I hope you can relate to my struggles, understand that you're never alone. *Will be updating everyday! I might miss a day though, I'm not pe...
