New Struggles

Lately

I don't really know where this is going to go honestly but just a few new/ old things that still sit in my brain.
Lately, I've been feeling not so worth it,
Not beautiful
Not good enough, etc.
lately, I just want to feel wanted and cared for.
I miss hearing from you reading your stories and is be lying if I said I didn't. I miss hearing about how you are doing. We had similar home lives and you were there through some of the disaster my dad caused. A bit of an update on that. We were talking for awhile, my dad and I, I was helping him get boxes and stuff because I found out he's losing the home that was our family's. We were fine untill I went to see him and she was there. His gf he said he kicked out. Then come to find out her daughter and son are staying there too. I just feel betrayed. He's just replacing everything. Me , my mom, my brother, and our family pets. Last time I talked to him he told me to kick rocks and fucking leave because he tried to say he helped me get my new car when I did that shit my ducking self. I did that. No one helped me get that I worked hard for it. After he said that to me. I felt this rage and sadness flow in my body. I just walked away got in my car and left. Tears streaming down my face backing out of his driveway. The next day he texted me and told me he was sorry and having a bad day and that he loved me. I never replied still haven't. I don't know what to say to him. I just wish it would get easier. Not having mom and dad, yeah my situation isn't worse than anyone else's. But I never thought it would happen like this. And still be this hard after so long. But it's life and I'll live ig.
So, ig that's all on my dad and me.
Lately, I just want everything to be okay. My cousin, she's tried to commit suicide 2 times in the past two months. Idek what to do. She always has been depressed and things haven't always been okay for her. I just wish I could help her and show her she's worth it like you did for me.
Lately, I can't believe that you and our mutual friend still talk. I'm happy that you guys do. You guys deserve to have each other. I wish I had a bond like yalls. My last friend was ya know a back stabber and someone who just isn't worth my time talking about anymore.
And I hope everything with your dad gets better, I'm praying for you. I feel we both understand the bond we had with our dads. No matter if they hurt us, he's still our father.
And lastly, my bf. Yeah I'm happy if you were wondering. Sometimes it's just hard like any relationship right? That's what I tell myself at least. Some days way worse than others. But there's always those good days that make you wanna hold on. Idk why things work like that but I guess it makes sense.
This is all a bunch of rambling honestly. But ig I'm doing well. Could always be better, could always smile more. Could lose weight, and could lose some attitude lol. But anyway ig this story is over idk what else to bitch or talk about