New Struggles

Happy? Finally?

So it's been a long ass time since I have finally updated on my situation. Last you guys know I was living with my grandmother because my father kicked my family out. Well I'm proud to say we found a house in the town I was raised in. I'm happy to have had the opportunity to call this place home. I'll admit it's been hard. We've been here for maybe 2 months and it's been hard. There was times I seen things that my brother had kept of mine that I made him years ago and it made me very emotional. Times when I seen this place look like my home. That now I have one. It's just hard, ig you'd have to go through it to understand it. On another note, my father chose her over me. And proved it this time. I would call him over and over again. Even show up and try to knock on the door when I knew they were both there and no one even had the respect to answer the door. Like I'm your damn daughter but you're gonna chose her and her pregnant daughter over me? It's honestly whatever. The fact I had to track him down and chase him on the road to even talk to him. That's just pathetic honestly. That I can't even have 5 minutes with my father. And to the girl he's with, she just wants his money and his house. She's been cheating on him with her ex and her ex has been telling me and showing me that proof if it. But my dad also cheated on her trying to get my mom back. Texting her telling her he misses and loves her. How tf can you say that to someone you threw out. Then had the Audacity to say that your kids probly hate you. Like I'm the only one trying to reach out and have a damn relationship with you. But I just need to step back and let him do his thing. Not having a father in my life hasn't been easy. It's hard as hell. I miss my dad. I miss the guy who used to draw me coloring pages and became my inspiration. The reason I wanted to be an artist so I could be like my dad. Now I know that I can be an artist, he's driven me to push myself and not to ever put anyone through the pain he caused me and my family. He didn't nothing but make me and my family stronger. Showed us that we didn't need anyone like him t constantly put us down and tear at our insecurities.  But I do have to thank him. He showed me what to not look for in a man. I'm thankful I have someone to love and someone to help me through this time in my life. Someone to hold me while I cry. Someone to understand that, I'm not trying to be a bitch that I'm just going through  so much.  I pray everyday that this man stays in my life forever. We have ups and downs but one thing will remain and that's the love we have for each other. I pray my children will never have to go through any of this. And I don't need any 'father' in my life. I have a mother who's been playing the part of both for years. Thank you mom and the love of my life for helping me through this. ❤️💕