Complicated Freak ✓ h.s

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update on me reading Aerial... I love it!
so that's what it looks like to be choked by Harry...

"Alright, that'll be all" Doctor Davidson smiled politely as he removed the bandages from around my abdomen, revealing the scar left by the stitches that was made during my surgery. The raw skin will always be a reminder of that godforsaken day, even though the stitches had been removed earlier, I still requested to have it covered by the bandages. It had now been roughly 2 weeks since the accident, most of the gashes on my body healed along with the slit made into my abdomen, only being a reminder of what could have been. During this time, I was staying with my father and Harry hadn't questioned it. At the hospital, prior to my discharge, Harry had been nothing but helpful and gentle when it came to handling me, be it when I needed to drink water or use the bathroom. I still haven't forgiven him for his use of vulgar terms in the locker room and he seemed to have noticed but didn't speak a word of it. I would often catch him staring at me, as I lied in bed or sat on the couch, with sheer guilt in his forest green eyes - the ones that I fell stupidly in love with.

"You wanna get something to eat on the way home?" Harry asked as we walked out the Doctor's office towards the exit. My father had a business meeting with the rest of the members on the board regarding the next championship hence his absence "Yeah, sure" I nodded solemnly, hugging my arm to my chest, staying at a safe distance from him. My right arm had now been switched from a plaster of Paris cast to a much more material, yet comfortable, one as well as a sling to keep it in place. Reason being that my skin had an allergic reaction to the plaster of Paris, it became difficult to tolerate as I had begun to claw at it to subside the prickly sensation, so the doctor recommended a switch. When the driver's side door had been hit, my left arm was raised with my elbow resting on the door just under the window which is why not much damage had been caused but my right arm was pushed with much force onto the console situated in the middle of the two seats. Although cushioned, the console did cause damage to my bone as it fractured a tiny bit. The insurmountable pain that shoots through my body, each time the memory of the accident flutters across my mind, was enough to knock the wind out of my lungs just as it did when the door caved in, crashing against my ribs.

After stopping at Chick-fil-A, Harry drove to my father's. He helped me inside even when I refused his aid, setting me onto the couch I glanced up at him to find his brows furrowed, creating a crease in the middle of his forehead, something so out of place against his flawless features. "Uhm, could I get you anything? To eat perhaps?" Harry's hand clenched and unclenched at his sides before shoving it into his back pockets "No thanks, I'm good. You can help yourself though, Dad will be home soon" He nodded then shook his head "I should get going, I have football practice. Call me if you need anything" He leaned down, placing a kiss to my forehead and my breath hitched in my throat at the gesture. Harry's eyes widened almost as if he didn't expect to do that himself, it's like we're back to square one "I'm.. I'm gonna go" He said before racing out the door. Things have been really awkward between the both of us, I could tell that he had to hold himself back from touching me in ways that we both craved for. I wanted to curl up in his lap, pressing my cheek against his chest as the thumps of his heart resonated through my eardrums while he rubbed his hand along my side in a soothing manner, I craved for that but circumstances are such that I resist every urge to be close to him.

"I had warned you, Addy" Carter spoke as she made herself comfortable on my bed next to me "Yeah, whatever" I shrugged, running my fingers through Ella's fur "I also know that he really does love you a lot" I lifted my gaze towards her, my interest piqued at her statement "How are you so sure? If he did, then he wouldn't have said all those things" I sighed "Well, that's something you two have to discuss, all I know is that Harry is pathetic when it comes to you. I'm tired of him asking me nearly every day if any of his ideas would work to get you back" I frowned "Everyday?" She nodded and laughed a little "He's head over heels for you, Ads, he always has been" I rolled my lips into my mouth, taking in her words and wondered what kind of ideas did he have, was it a grand gesture like making an announcement in the middle of a football game? Or was it something small and intimate like a dinner and movie? "Hey, girls, ready for dinner?" Dad poked his head through the gap between the door and frame, a loving smile on his face "Food? Oh, definitely!" Carter hopped off the bed and I let out a laugh "What happened to your diet?" She shrugged at my question "I couldn't go through that anymore"

I shook my head and stood to my feet with the help of Carter. "So, Carter, what's your plans after you graduate?" Dad asked, serving himself  and I sipped on my water. Carter had a spoon shoved her mouth, "I've applied for a job at a gallery in New York, I plan on shifting there once I graduate" She answered "It's one of the best in the city" I added and Dad nodded "That's good. Is Ethan going as well?" He asked "He's got an offer from a football team which I'm surprised about since his grades are so amazing" I nudged her side at her sarcastic remark "Congrats to him" Dad laughed and the two of us joined "I've spoken to Mr Graham about his art school" I said after a while and the two of them looked at me "He wants to work with you for the rest of the year, Car" I smiled as I glanced at her "No way!" She squealed and threw her arms around me "Ouch! My arm" I feigned hurt and she rolled her eyes causing Dad to chuckle from across us. I didn't fail to notice the fondness in his eyes as we sat at the dining table, he misses the laughter that this house usually carries, he misses the warmth, he misses Mom and so do I, it's nothing without her. Dinner went on smoothly thereafter with Carter speaking most of the time while Dad entertained her questions regarding the ring.

Carter left shortly after dinner while Dad and I retired to the living room. Criminal Minds played on the TV but I wasn't paying attention, the only thought on my mind that held my attention was Harry. If that day didn't happen, he'd be here with his arms around me, periodically whispering into my ear only to have me smack his hand or elbow his chest. "Sweetheart, have you spoken to him?" I looked at my father confused and he sighed "I know you're mad at Harry about something but whatever it is, you two can work it out." I fiddled with my fingers and nodded "What if it's something that can't be repaired?" I asked in a small voice "With true repentance it can be mended. I did something so atrocious to your mother yet she still forgave me and I'm not saying that I took advantage of it, I didn't, I'm just grateful that she did because despite everything, we still shared our best days together. However, life is too short to be mad over little things, honey. Speak to Harry, mend this issue between the both of you." Dad advised before narrowing his eyes "Okay, maybe that wasn't great advice, your Mom was a professional at this" He chuckled and I joined "Yeah, she was but thank you Dad. What you said was more than enough" I reached over and hugged him tightly, however I could with my one arm in a cast.

"Why don't you head to bed? It's quite late and you've taken a lot of medication" I nodded, agreeing with him before standing up "Goodnight, Dad" I kissed his cheek and he smiled, then I headed up to my room and carefully changed into my pj's. I grabbed my novel as I made myself comfortable in bed, my reading glasses perched on the bridge of my nose. Halfway through the novel, I heard light rapping on my window "What the hell?" I grumbled, throwing the covers off of me and made my way to the window, pushing the curtains aside "What are you doing here?" I gasped and fumbled with pulling the heavy frame up, locking it in place "Hey, there gorgeous. How are you doing on this fine night?" I stepped back, crossing my left arm under my right as I stared at the man before me "Harry, are you drunk?" I raised an eyebrow and he held onto the sill, toppling over into my room as his head hit the floor once he fell in "I miss you adeline, I miss your touch that leaves me in an intoxicating stupor" He stood to his height, his voice slurred and his steps fumbled "I miss waking up to you every morning, I miss watching you cook in our kitchen and I'm so fucking sorry for everything I said that day in the locker room"

I opened my mouth to speak when Harry's hand pressed against my lips, "No let me talk, I've heard you say a lot and then you landed in hospital because of me. I told you Addy, this is what we do in the locker room, shit gets said and you knew the reputation I have, I have to keep that image up. They had been pestering me for weeks on end about you and I just said that to shut them up otherwise, they could have spread an even worse rumor" Harry tilted his head back, blinking his eyes and his tongue darting out to wet his lips and I just stared at him "I won't be able to forgive myself for all that happened. I'm so sorry, Addy. So very sorry" Harry's already glazed eyes watered over, his head bowed before me as he shook it from side to side in a feverish manner "I ruined everything we hav- had" He spoke in confusion and I felt a piece of my heart break at the sight of tears running down his cheek "Harry" I said softly and he looked at me intently "Did I cause the end of us? Is this the end? I don't want it to be, I need you in my life" Harry took a step forward and I kept my ground.

well damn, that was long.. thoughts?????