Second Chances

The Voice Of Reason

"I cannot believe after alll this time the big day is almost here!" Pepper beamed a giggly smile as she looked towards Sophia with her bright green eyes. Soph looked back at her and mirrored her expression. "I know, I can't wait to marry Sebastian tomorrow" she said excitedly. We were all finally back togther; me, Soph, Cameron, Pepper and Selena. Spending the night before the wedding in Sebastian's house whilst he was off spending the night at his parents house a few miles away with his Brother, sisters and Kimi. "and just think, alll of this is going tobe yours too" Cameron winked at her, gesturing to our surroundings. But the rest of us scoffed, "come off it Cam." Selena snorted, "what? It sure adds to the Pros list- marrying into all this" she defended. But I rolled my eyes. "or have you signed a prenup?" she asked, looking back at Soph. "really you're gonna ask that?" I snapped, feeling like this was such an inappropriate topic. "it's okay Bells" Sophia laughed lightly. "No I haven't actually." she replied pleasantly. "Seb didn't want to. He trusts me" she answered. "besides, I wouldn't want it even if we split. I lived just fine before him, and I would do afterwards. but I hope it doesnt come to that" she added with a smile. I was proud of her. I was proud to be her friend. "you're unbelievable Cam" Selena sighed disappointedly. "that's why you're single..." Pepper muttered, making us all giggle. "I'm actually not" Cameron replied. "what?" I asked amazed, she shot me a look and turned to look to Pepper, "I met a guy a few months back. But I didn't want to tell you guys" she said smugly. "who is he?" Soph asked, "and why is he not coming to the wedding tomorrow?" she added. "He's called Mick, and I met him in London. He's hot" She said widening her eyes at us. "but it's still early days- I wouldn't want to have him on your wedding photos if it didn't work out" she said, which i had to admit was fairly decent of her. "but don't worry you'll get to meet him at the next one" she said, smirking at me. 

"Next one what?" I asked with a frown. "wedding" she smiled, "it's gonna be your turn next right?" she asked me. But I rolled my eyes, "Are you just here tonight to piss everybody off?!" I spat at her. Cam's smirk dropped and I knew I had flown off the handle too fast, but she was just annoying me tonight. "Bell-"
"forget it, I'm getting another drink" I huffed before getting up and storming out of the room.

.......

"are you okay?" a voice asked me after I'd been alone in the kitchen for a few minutes. I looked over my shoulder to find Pepper hanging around by the door. I smiled a small smile and nodded. "Sorry about that" I said lowly, "I know I have to say it to Cameron too" I huffed, turning back around and leaning my arm on the work top so I could rest my head. 

"eh, don't worry about her, she knows she's been an idiot" she said as she walked towards me. "wanna talk about it?" she asked, jumping up to sit on the counter.  I sighed, "I'm kinda fed up talking about it. But it won't go away" I said. "what won't?" she asked me. "this weird mood I'm in" I answered, turning to hop up beside her. Our legs dangling down to the floor. 

"I don't wanna feel like this in general, but especially this weekend. Sophia has dealt with my drama for way too long and I'm trying to get passed it. It's just hard when everything around me at the minute is wedding stuff." 
"but why? has something happened with you and Kimi?" she asked. And then I realised- since we hadn't been all together properly for a good catch up since the Hen weekend, the girls didn't know about everything that had been going on. "not really" I sighed, "well, I'm going to be moving in with Kimi soon-"

"that's great! Isn't it?" she interrupted. "yeah, it is, but...I dunno. Since we've gotten back together and we're almost on the same page with everything- people keep asking me when Kimi and I are going to get married. It puts pressure on us y'know?" I looked to her and she nodded. "Truth is, it's never been an issue that Kimi didn't want to get married, or that he was married before-"
"but now you think you want to get married and he doesn't?" 

I nodded at her. "we've never actually spoken about it. Just that we both wanna have kids soon. but with all this going on" I pointed towards the living room where Sophia was. "it's made me so fucking jealous. And I hate it. I hate that it's Sophia getting married and not me. I'm such a terrible friend" I whispered trying to hold back the unwelcome tears.

"oh sweetheart, no you're not" Pepper gently rubbed my back to try and comfort me. "you're no different to any other woman who wants to have that fairy tale ending. Every one of us is jealous of her. Even Cameron" she added with a smirk. I smiled a little at her. "but that's the thing, I don't think I'll ever have my fairy tale ending; marriage and kids. Cause I don't think I'd ever be truly happy if I'm not married to the man I love- or the father of my babies." I sighed, that unwanted, unwelcome heavy feeling in my stomach feeling ever more prominent.

"Does Kimi know how you feel?" She asked and I shook my head. "I suck. Since we got back together we agreed that we would talk about everything. But here I am, having all these thoughts and not doing anything about it." I rubbed my face. "then you know what you have to do." Pepper said, jumping off the counter. "but what if he doesn't want to get married again?" I asked with fear etched over my face. "then you gotta figure out what's more important- getting the big white dress and the ring; or living with him forever with 6 beautiful blonde babies running around your house" she smiled at me. 

I breathed out a laugh and thought for a second as she left me alone again. "hey wait!" I called after her jumping off the counter, "what do you mean? Six babies?!"