One Sister, Seven Brothers, and Another Set of Memories {BTS}

Self-Conscious

This has to do with some personal issues of mine, so that's why I wrote it. It does talk about sex, so if you don't want to read any of it, that's perfectly okay. It doesn't go into detail or anything, it just mentions sex as well as body issues. I just thought I'd give you a little warning before-hand in case those two topics are sensitive in any way for you cherubs <33 it's not all sad, tho, because I have to include some sort of humor hehe

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You gently pushed open the door, the dull light from the hallway spilling into the dark bedroom in front of you. You looked at the bed closest to you and saw a body rollover, arms folding in front of their face to shield themselves either from you or the light. "Hoseok, I told you I don't want to talk," Jimin huffed, his voice cracking near the end. You heard a sniffle before he growled a rough, "Get out."

You swallowed before murmuring, "It's just me," into the darkness of his room. You debated on if you should go ahead and leave or not, but you stood your ground. You wanted to know what was up with your brother. And if he didn't want to chat, you had some stuff to get off your chest yourself and you hoped that he wasn't in such a bad mood to send you on your way.

You heard another sniffle before Jimin sat up against his headboard, his knees quickly coming up to block his face once more. I'm coming over anyway, so it's not like you can hide forever. "Oh, you can stay, sis. Sorry."

"You're fine," you replied, shutting the door behind you. You came over to the bed and sat down beside him. It was dark, so you couldn't see much until he leaned over and flicked his bedside lamp on. As the dull, yellow light illuminated his side of the room, you could see the tear stains on his cheeks reflect off his skin. You pursed your lips. "Are you okay?"

Jimin wiped his eyes, sniffling once more. "I'm fine. What did you come in here for?"

"I just wanted to talk," you responded. You saw his frown from the corner of your eye and you looked over at him sympathetically. "About me, not you. I mean, unless you want to talk about you."

Jimin returned your gaze, his black hair swishing out of in front of his eyes at the movement. "What's on your mind, (Y/N/N)?"

You sighed, crossing your legs underneath you as you leaned against the wooden headboard. "Well, I know you guys don't like me dating and all that, but I can't help but want a serious boyfriend."

Jimin scooted up so he wasn't slouching. "What do you mean?"

You exhaled another sigh, this time out of inner frustration. "All my friends have boyfriends or guys that like them and I'm like the third wheel for everyone." You swallowed. "I thought I was the only one who felt like this, but I was talking to one of the seniors today last period and she said she had the same problem. And like... I don't know." You looked back at your brother. "Is something wrong with me? Like, am I not pretty or something?"

Jimin frowned. "(Y/N), don't think like that," he cooed. "Nothing is wrong with you, trust me. Don't feel like you need a guy to make you feel like you're worth something." (You guys better take note of this smh this is the honest truth)

"I've had boyfriends before, you know, but those were in middle school and everyone says that middle school relationships don't count," you continued.

Jimin chuckled, shrugging. "Well, I wouldn't say that, but I get where they're coming from." He looked down at his hands that rested in his lap before looking at you. "That's kind of the same reason I'm upset."

You gave him an odd look. "Why? What's going on in your world?"

Jimin shrugged. "I know I get asked out a lot and I always say no, but I just have... issues. It seems like every girl I have feelings for as well doesn't want me for me." He crossed his arms in a pouty way. "They want me physically."

You blinked before your mouth formed an "o."

Jimin sensed your understanding. "Yeah. You remember that girl I went on a date with and you spied on us?" You nodded. "That's like her. She only wanted this-" he gestured to his body- "because her boyfriend was in America. And she's not the only one. So instead of asking if I'm good-looking, I ask myself if I'm more than my body."

"Of course you are," you answered. "She's just stupid."

"But it's not just her," Jimin sighed. "I know you're just a junior, but I'm twenty-four, (Y/N). I'm still a virgin, and most guys at this age have gotten it on more times you could on one hand."

"Ew," you cringed.

"I know you probably don't think that way, but it's just odd-"

"Wait, I hate to interrupt but-" you lowered voice in case someone was outside the bedroom door trying to listen to you and your brother's conversation- "are the others?"

Jimin smirked. "Okay, so I probably shouldn't give you this information, but the only two that I know for sure haven't done anything like that are Hoseok and Taehyung. Jin is sort of a given you know since Mi Sun is expecting."

Your mouth gaped open at this news. "I'm kinda grossed out, wow."

Jimin snickered. "At least you don't share a bedroom with that one," Jimin whispered, gesturing to Namjoon's side of the room. He wasn't home, and with this new information, you didn't know if you wanted to know where he was at. "But now you know where I'm coming from. And why being a virgin bothers me."

"But like, that stuff is gross so you shouldn't worry about it," you told him. "And I'm glad I'm not the only one."

Jimin nudged your shoulder. "I got you," he grinned. The two of you sat in the quiet for a while before you leaned toward him.

"So those weird noises I hear from the other side of the wall is Jungkook doing the do?" you asked. "Oh my gosh, no wonder Taehyung and Hoseok always want to sleep in my room."

You had never heard Jimin laugh as hard as he did when he heard you ask that.

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I hope it wasn't too bad hehe. Maybe it brightened your spirits since corona sure isn't :))

In other news, I promise I'm writing lol. I'm currently working on an AU but I'm stuck haha. Like I got the beginning and the end, but I can't think of what else to include to actually make the chapter good :( as my friend would say, I'm on the struggle bus. 

i hope you all are doing great tho and don't be afraid to message me if you get bored! i might not respond super quickly because I'm probably trying overthrow Tom Nook in acnh haha but don't hesitate if you want to chat! i love you guys and stay safe!!