When We Were Young

• 24 •

• Park Ahra •

After that lovely dinner with my family, Jaemin suddenly asked me to go back to my room with him.

Surprisingly he was only going to take his camera to take pictures "since when you liked taking pictures?" I asked while we walked back to the living room.

"Since I regret not having lot's of memories with you" He answered me shortly.

When we arrived the living room, Haeso already prepared our camera too on the spot where we usually take a family picture every Christmas Eves, Christmas Mornings, New Year's Eves New Year's mornings, and other holiday occasions that we are complete. Eomma and appa wants to have memories as we grow up, and have changes in our lives.

Eomma and appa will also let Jaemin join us this year, to celebrate his happiness.

Appa helped Jaemin a lot when he was having a hard time looking for me, waiting for me to come back.

"Should we take pictures first before we open gifts?" eomma suggested to us, and we all agreed.

Eomma and Appa sat on the bench, Haeso was on the other side of eomma and Sora was also sitting next to appa. Me and Jaemin sat on the floor since we were already sitting in the floor waiting.

Haeso had his remote that is connected to his camera, so when he press it, it will take a picture even we are far. We continued to capture more beautiful pictures for memories.

We continued our night as we open our gifts since appa has schedules tomorrow in the hospital, eomma also has to go back to Busan because our grandma was rushed to the hospital this afternoon, Jaemin also has schedule tomorrow.

Eomma and appa received their gifts first, from each others and us, they both looked happy with the gift we gave them "I actually have gift for everyone" Jaemin spoke "but didn't come in time"

"That ok" appa pat his shoulder "we can wait, I also have a gift for you" appa got up and went somewhere.

Appa came back with a box on his hands "Merry Christmas Jaemin, I was going to ask Ahra to give this to you but, I kept forgetting" he gave him the box "I hope that's the right size" appa joked to him.

Jaemin started ripping the gift wrap and revealed a shoe box "I know you've been working so hard and trying so hard to reach your goals, and I hope this will help you reach to the top, as your doctor I treated you like a son and I want to support you with every step you take, and help you to be who you are" Jaemin went to him and hug him.

I noticed Sora's absence but, I only let it slip.

Jaemin suddenly started sobbing "Thank you so much so helping me these years, I don't know where I'm right now if you weren't there for me when I was in the edge to give up on my dreams" he whimpered, appa slowly rub his back in circles.

"I'm always here for you even though if Ahra will still hate you, because the more you opened up to me the more my heart got closer to you and I am so happy to meet a person like you" appa told him.

"What did you do?" Sora suddenly came back and asked us aggressively.

"It's nothing" Jaemin laughed while tearing up, he went back to me and I helped him wipe his tears.

"What a cry baby" I teased him to lighten him up and he suddenly cried harder.

He took me into his arms, everyone was looking at me while I still can't process why on earth he is crying like this.

I stood up and also held him up with me "Jaemin-ah, let's talk about" I suggested to him "Okay?" he only nod.

"I will talk to him first" I informed everyone who also got worried about Jaemin.

I took him to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, I let him sit on the kitchen stool in the kitchen counter.

I got him a glass of water and hand it to him.

I brushed my fingers through his hair while he drinks the water that I just handed him "why are you crying?" I asked him with a soft tone, he looked at me with a smiled that is a also a sad once.

"I just remember those days when I wanted to give up" he answered me while slowly looking down "I didn't know what to do those days, I wanted to end all the suffering that caused because of me, I hated myself for doing all those things to you, I felt lonely for not having you, I had many sleepless days thinking about your whereabouts, if you are doing well or you are already healing after the damage I caused you" he starts to explain.

"I wasn't proud of those days when I hid the fact I'm dating a person like you, I lied to Jeno those days without getting caught, I lied to you, I promised to you no secrets, but in the end I was the one who ruined the promise I made"

"I didn't have much time to be with you those days, I realized how stupid I was that time"

"The time my condition got worst that time, I didn't want to get treatment because I don't want a person like me still live, I only did it because I saw your picture on your appa's clinic and that made me want to live and try once again"

"By the time when I saw you cry in that concert made me want to kill myself for seeing most beautiful girl cry because of me, I didn't want to see you cry because of me"

As he continues to go deeper, his tears keeps on flowing down harder, he continues to look down and he felt all fragile as he continues to open up all the burden that he has been carrying all these years.

"When I saw you with Jeno and found out about you being interested to Jeno, it felts like my whole world just falls apart so fast and hard, that's why I started to hate you because what's on my mind those days was my hatred towards myself splashed to you unintentionally, I was also about to destroy my friendship with Jeno because of the grudge I made"

I pulled him to a hug, I pulled him like a thin paper who is about to fly along with the air "I'm scared to lose you again" I run my hands around his back.

"Jaemin it's all in the past now" I told him "let it go now" I pulled him away and made him look at me in the eyes.

"Let go all the burden that you have been carrying these years"

"Let's start a new life"