When We Were Young

• 42 •

• Na Jaemin •

I went back to the dorm since no one is in here, Jeno, Haechan is in the hospital, Renjun and Jisung is with Jasmine. I can finally have some small rest for myself.

I still can't believe what I just found out about Ahra. I was acting stupidly back then without knowing her situation, making her deal with big time.

If I choose the kids Yerim will also get hurt, also more chances of me hurting Ahra once again, if I will choose Yerim my life is going to be carrying loads of guilt for abandoning those children.

Someone suddenly rings the doorbell, I went and answer it without looking who is behind the door.

"Ahra? What are you doing here?" I asked and she just smiled.

"Here, I know you've been doubting about the kids" she handed me a brown envelop "thank you for staying for Jason for a bit, I know being in a room with your ex is really tiring but this will be the last time" she turned around ready to take her step.

"Since when did you have a heart problem?"

She turn back to me with a smile that is full of pain "since you left me for your debut" she answered "it got worst when I gave birth to the twins, but it's going to be alright" she looked down after what she just said to me.

"You don't have to feel guilty"

"Can I at least make it up to you and the kids?"

"I will take responsibilities for them, the be the missing piece they've been wanting, be someone who will be the other half for taking care of the kids, be their father?" She look back to me again.

"You can't force yourself, I will take them back for you to have a normal life" she took my hands and massage them "let's just forget about it and move on for what's best for the both of us"

"I know how much you love Yerim, I know you have to make one decision and it will be hard for you that's why I am choosing for what's best for you" she let's go of my hands and left.

I went back to the living room with the envelope unopened, I turned on the TV and lay down in the couch.

"Appa?" I hear a voice of a young boy looking for it's appa, I turned around and saw Jason in a hospital gown with a while balloon in his hand.

"I am not your appa" I replied harshly to the kid, he still continues to smile at me "do you love me?"

A question that I can't answer came out from his mouth all sudden "if you don't love eomma then why me and my sister are here?"

Jeno suddenly turned him around and hugged him. Seeing him being hugged by another person suddenly gave me knives stabbing my chest in different kinds of ways and directions.

"If appa doesn't love you, I am here for you" Jeno started to carry him away into the light.

I tried to catch up to them but non of my legs move an inch.

I was grabbed by someone to turn around and saw Ahra laying in the ground lifeless, blood all over her legs, it was just the two of us and my muscles doesn't want to move.

"Jaemin-ah" she faintly calls out my name while she trys to reach out for me "it hurts"

When I blinked, Ahra was in different state again, she was crying with cuts all over her body, 3 arrows stabbing her back.

"Na Jaemin!" Someone suddenly shouted my name and slapped me.

I looked around, Renjun and Jisung looking at me weirdly "hyung are you alright?" Jisung asked and I just nod to him "you've been calling Ahra for the past 30 minutes, I tried waking you up so I ended up slapping you"

"I don't know, but it's just another nightmare" Renjun started walking away when I started to talk, I know he hates me mentioning Ahra.

"Ahra is alright hyung, Jason also already woke up" he replied to me with a smile, all I did was nod.

"Why did you have a nightmare about her?" Jisung curiously asked and I just shrugged.

Park Ahra

Jason finally woke up, he still feels a bit tired after that surgery. I feel guilty not giving him what he needs the most.

"Are you alright baby?" Sora asked him for the 10th time and he smiled to her.

"Mommy is annoyed with you" he said with a small giggle coming out from his mouth.

Kun, Yangyang, Haechan, Jeno, Doyoung Taeil and Jaehyun is currently in here too, Yangyang, Haechan and Jeno guarded Jason while I was at home to rest while Doyoung, Taeil and Jaehyun visited after their schedule.

They helped me a lot cheer for the kids.

We are all surrounding Jason, the guys plays with him, showing what they also got for him as a successful surgery gift for him.

"Why don't you go home now?" I asked Sora who just finished her shift here in the hospital, she like working here and now she is really comfortable for her.

"What about you?" I only smiled to her and patted her shoulder.

"Go before I call Lele and get you another scolding session" I joked and she just laugh about it.

"Don't worry I will stay here with her" Jeno suddenly butted in into our conversation.

She only nods when Jeno walked her out of the room.

The door opened again, I didn't bother much since it is Jeno anyways.

"Jaemin-ah"

Na Jaemin

The room went silent when Jaehyun hyung called me, everyone was looking at me like I am a bad thing in here which is true.

"What's with the awkwardness?" Jaehyun hyung asked innocently.

Other 127 members doesn't know what's happening, nor know anything about this.

"How about we give you guys some privacy to talk?" Doyoung announced, they pull everyone out of the room leaving me alone with this guys.

"Hi!" Jason brightly waved to me, I also wave back to him with a small smile.

"Are you mommy's friend?" He asked me in English, this kid probably don't understand Korean or can speak Korean.

"I don't know" I replied to him in English too.

"I am Jason Park" he suddenly introduced his self to me.

Ahra knew they are mine, but they also can't have my name since I wasn't there when she gave birth, Ahra is the only legal parent at that time that's why they are 'Park'.

"Hi Jason, I am Na Jaemin" I went near him and introduced myself to him to "do you think I can be your friend?" The child nodded happily.

"Mommy your handsome friend wants to be my friend" he proudly said to Ahra who is tearing up while looking at us.

"Jaemin please don't do anything that will hurt them" she said and I just nod to her.

I took her hands and caressed them both "I've made my decisions, they both need me, I can leave this life for them, to repay you the sufferings you've made for them"

Park Ahra

I hope he is not lying this time.